


With Tooth and Claw

by PerfectStorm773



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Body Horror, Chimera Edward Elric, Discrimination, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Lizards, M/M, Medical Experimentation, Medical Inaccuracies, Recovery, Slow Burn, selective mutism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2018-11-22 02:14:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 40,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11370456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerfectStorm773/pseuds/PerfectStorm773
Summary: The first thing Ed did after the rescue was go outside.It had been cold in that dark, wet room, and his cough had yet to go away. It could take months. The doctor had said, but he had ended it with, but I'm no veterinarian. Ass. Ed wasn't even half lizard. More like… 33.3% lizard.Ed laughed to himself, even if it was less than half, any amount of lizard meant he wasn't human.





	1. Tea Time

The first thing Ed did after his rescue was go outside.

It had been cold in that dark, wet room, too cold for his now cold-blooded body, and his cough had yet to go away. _It could take months_. The doctor had said, but he had ended it with, _but I'm no veterinarian_. Ass. Ed wasn't even _half_ lizard. More like… 33.3% lizard.

Ed laughed to himself, even if it was less than half, he knew that any amount of lizard meant he wasn't human.

 

“It'll be cold, soon.”

 

Ed tucked his bangs behind one ear and turned to face Al.

Ed also knew that the only thing keeping him from the lab was the legal fight Darius and Heinkel were helping Al with. Fighting for the right to be labeled as a human.

 

With a rasp, Ed answered. “Then I'll come in when it's cold.”

Al sighed and sat down in the grass with him. The two brothers sitting in one of the last dying rays of the day's sunlight.

 

“I don't want to have to carry you inside again, brother.”

Ed nearly flinched, curling his shoulders in closer. The first time he'd been allowed outside, he'd overstayed into the night, until the cold soil leeched all the heat from his body until he'd been almost unable to move. Al was probably the only reason he hadn't frozen to death that night.

Maybe he should've.

 

He felt Al's arm reach around his back and clasp onto his left shoulder before he was pulled into a side-hug.

With no command from his conscious brain, Ed leaned into the warm body and sighed.

He was always cold these days.

 

“Come inside, Ed.” Al insisted, “I've lit the fireplace and the kettle's boiling. We'll have you warm in no time.”

Ed held out for a moment more, taking in deep breaths of the clean, fresh air of the outside world before he nodded reluctantly and stood with Al's help.

Speaking was another thing that was rare for him these days.

 

When the two were inside, Al deposited Ed on the couch, the couch that had been pushed until it was a mere four feet from the fireplace.

“I'll get the tea,” Al said as he helped wrap Ed up in a blanket. “Is there any specific kind you want?”

It was an obvious attempt to get Ed to speak.

But Ed only shook his head as he pulled his long tail up and wrapped it around his middle before grasping it in his only hand.

No automail. Not until his cough was gone.

 

Ed didn't need to see his little brother's face to see the disappointment on it. A year and a half Al was missing his big brother, only to get back a half-person. A lizard-man covered in scales and scars.

 

“I'll get you some chamomile.” _The usual_. “Maybe it'll help with that cough. _The usual_.

Ed nodded.

 

When Al returned and offered him a mug, Ed took it in his scaled palm. The porcelain was hot enough to burn but Ed reveled in it, feeling the heat move up his arm and into his chest. When he took the first sip, it burned his now blue and forked tongue, but it was sweet.

Ed glanced over at Al, who had joined him on the couch.

Al gave a smile, “I put in some extra honey. I know you're not supposed to have too much, but I figured it wouldn't hurt.”

Ed blinked at him.

“Thank you.”

Nine words. Ed was on a roll today.

 

Al beamed.

“The legal workings are going well,” Al said as he moved in closer. Ed wasn't sure if he was offering body heat or just glad that Ed had spoken. “Right now their argument against you is that you can't shift into a more human form, but now Darius and Heinkel are saying that they'll be showing up and working in their chimera forms until this is over.”

 

Al was hoping for a response. Or a verbal one at least, but all Ed did was nod as he continued to drink his tea.

 

Al waited a few moments before he stood and turned away.

“Goodnight, brother.”

 

Edward wanted to return the goodnight, he wanted Al to continue to sit and talk, but all he found himself doing was watch Al's bedroom door close.

Ed turned back to the fire and set his half-full mug down on the floor.

He spread the blanket over himself and he lay down on the couch and curled into a fetal position, pulling his tail up over his leg to rest by his head.

If he was lucky it would take less than an hour to warm up in the morning.

 

 

When Ed wakes the next morning, it's to quiet murmuring and absolute icy temperatures.

More accurately, room temperature, but it's still cold.

“How is he?”

That's Hawkeye. It must be her turn to come and check up on him.

“He said two sentences yesterday.” Al almost sounded happy about that. Ed would try to say more today.

“Well,” Al corrected, “A sentence and a fragment, but it's an improvement.”

Before Riza could form a response, Ed sat up on the couch and turned to the kitchen. Al and Riza were seated at the little table in it, and Al spotted Ed immediately.

 

“Oh!”

Riza turned around in her seat and gave a small smile when her eyes met Edward's.

“Good morning, Edward.” She greeted him.

 

Ed wanted to respond. He wanted to say it back, and not stay so rudely silent. He wasn't mute. He had no excuse for the way his mouth stayed shut and his eyes drifted downwards.

 

Ed stood, a little shakily on the basic prosthetic leg, but he took only two steps to the backdoor before Al stopped him.

 

“Ed, wait. It's still cold outside, barely 60°.”

Ed turned back to his couch and sat back down.

“Fire?” He asked with a cough.

 

“Of course.” Edward heard a chair creak as Al got up and moved to the living room.

He watched sullenly as Al cleared out some of the previous fires ash, and stacked in fresh firewood.

 

The couch dipped next to him as Riza sat down, and he felt a hand begin to stroke it's way down through his hair.

“It'll be okay, Ed.” She said in a motherly tone that he had only heard her use once or twice before. “I understand it's hard for you to speak right now, we all do. Don't feel guilty.”

 

Ed wanted to feel relieved that she understood, but he squashed it down with guilt.

She shouldn't have to be doing this.

Al shouldn't have to be taking care of his big brother.

So he just nodded.

The hand in his hair stopped, and moved to his shoulder, and gave a reassuring squeeze.

Ed tried not to let the guilt choke him, but a cough he was holding in was another thing entirely.

It started quiet enough, these fits usually did.

A couple of small coughs, barely enough to shake his shoulders, but when he tried to breathe in, it showed it's true colors.

His hand flew up to cover his mouth as he started hacking. His lungs ached with the force he couldn't control and his throat became sore. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes, and he could taste copper.

 

Part of him noticed Riza and Al trying to quell his cough, patting him on the back and desperately telling him to take deep breaths.

Did they think he was stupid? If he could breathe, he would!

 

When the cough had finally settled down to wheezing, Ed felt like he was in fog. Shapes danced in front of his eyes and he could feel the wet blood that was probably covering his chin.

A quick inspection of his hand saw bright red blood covering his palm and dripping down onto the couch.

Ed closed his eyes for a moment and felt the world swim.

 

“Brother?”

 

Ed opened his eyes back up to look into Al's concerned ones.

He pressed a wet rag against Ed's face and tried to mop up the blood.

“Water. Please.”

Al nodded to someone out of Ed's view and accepted a glass of water that Ed took eagerly.

By the time he had downed half of it, the taste of blood had all but left his mouth.

He took as deep a breath as he was willing to risk, but before Ed could gulp down what remained of the water, Al took the glass and replaced it with a large pill.

 

“Your medicine.” Al clarified, “you need to take it whenever you cough.”

Ed opened his mouth and put in the pill, but he noticed Al cringe away from his red-stained fangs.

 

Once the pill was gone along with the water, Ed found himself lying down on the couch with his blanket tucked in around him.

He blinked stupidly at the fire and felt someone's hand card through his hair once more.

Ed let out a series of small barks. He knew they didn't sound human, but at the moment he didn't care.

 

“He's getting worse.” Someone said.

“He'll get better.” Someone else said, “He has to.”


	2. Dreams and Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to do some research into the treatment of things like influenza and pneumonia during the 1910s and 1920s, but I haven't been able to find too much, so this probably isn't historically accurate, but then again, neither is FMA.  
> For Ed's illness, I've been mixing the symptoms and treatments of pneumonia, the flu, and a common reptilian respiratory infection caused by improper heating and humidity.

Roy jolted upright in bed, breathing hard and with cold sweat soaking the back of his shirt. One hand raised up to the pulse point in his neck, his heart was hammering.

This was the third time that week he'd had that nightmare, and it was only Thursday.

A month ago, his team had been sent out to investigate the origin of several feral chimeras that had been showing up in the southern half of East City.

It had taken days, but they'd traced the sightings back to the spot where each began, a little one-story home where neighbors claimed that an alchemist lived.

The ground level was covered in dust and papers, on the counters sat rotting food, and seated at a desk in the living room was the body of Eustace Roth, an old man that had taken and failed the State Alchemy exam three times. A man that specialized in Chimeras. His work wasn't too impressive, and at the time they had the Sewing Life Alchemist, so there was no reason to give him certification.

But a look at the man's basement showed that he had improved.

 

Many of the cages had been broken, some lay on their side, some were shattered, and some of them still contained their horrific beasts.

Animals that couldn't be identified were starving in their little cages, cages filled with waste. Some of them could be defined as reptilian, avian, or mammalian, but most were so twisted and vile that Roy had ordered for them to be shot and killed. Even if the labs would've wanted them, the creatures were in so much visible agony that he couldn't bring himself to extend their suffering by even a single second.

 

Then they reached the cells.

 

It was clear that Eustace had intended to keep human beings alive in the cells. Each one contained a bed, a sink, and a toilet, much like prison cells, but they were utterly filthy. Dirt clung to every inch of the floor and mold had grown on the dampened blankets. Roy was relieved that the man had died before he could imprison anyone until he was called to the final cell.

 

Ed resided in the final little cell, Sitting upright on his own moldy mattress, with blood and dirt smeared over his thin body. His automail arm was gone, and his leg had been replaced with a cheap plastic prosthetic.

But he was awake and alive.

But he was different.

He was dressed in a white tank top that was stained with dried blood, and a matching pair of boxers.

He was covered in gold, green and black dots, scales, Roy had realized. Scales that covered his cheeks, spotted on his neck and covered his one shoulder as they slipped down his arm to cover his hand.

His single leg was similar, with his knee bearing the most of the colorful scales. A long tail stretched out next to him and dangled off the edge of the cot.

It was a gold color just like his hair, but near the end, it began to stripe in the greens and blacks that were evident on the rest of his body.

Ed's eyes met Roy's, and they were tired, so very, very tired. But they still lit up with his fanged grin as Ed hissed out two words.

“Miss me?”

 

But in Roy's dreams, they didn't find Ed sick and sarcastic, but dead and cold.

Starved to death or bled out, maybe both. But he would always be lying in a puddle of blood, ribs visible and eyes staring, malformed almost beyond recognition, and then Al would be there by his brother's body and before Roy could even form an apology, Al would say, “You should've been there,” as the mutants closed in around him until all he could see were the glowing yellow eyes of the chimeras, oddly familiar yellow-gold eyes…

 

A few minutes had passed in silence as the dream replayed itself in Roy's mind, but his heartbeat had slowed and his breathing had evened out.

 

It was three in the morning, but he had to make a call.

 

“Alphonse?” Roy asked as he stood in his kitchen, holding the phone up to his ear, “Did I wake you?”

“No, sir.” Al sighed, “I've been up for hours, so has brother.”

“How is he?” Roy asked, “I got the report from Riza, that he had another fit today, but I haven't seen him since he got out of the hospital.”

Al was quiet for a moment, and Roy could hear a bit of coughing coming in from Al's end.

“Not good. He's started coughing blood.”

Roy shifted through everything he knew about pneumonia. “He's not,” Roy braced himself, “He's not dying, is he?”

“No.”

The answer was so sure, and from anyone else, it would've soothed Roy, but coming from Al in such a tone.

“Al. Don't do anything rash.”

“I don't know.” Al said, “He's still so cold, and he still won't talk much, and I don't know if it's because he can't or just won't.”

“He's been through quite a lot, Alphonse. He might just not want to talk.” Roy said, then paused. “How is he now?”

“Asleep.” Al answered, “His fits take a lot out of him, and his medicine seems to make him tired, too.”

Roy stayed quiet for a few moments.

“Colonel?”

“I'm sorry.” Roy croaked, “I should've had guards with you two, he shouldn’t have been taken.”

“Sir, Roy, this wasn't your fault. We were heading home, no one could have predicted Ed would be kidnapped.”

 

Roy had waited a month before he could even speak to Al, his brother, his only family was now a chimera, Roy would never admit it, but Ed was a freak now. He already had to deal with the prejudice that came with being an amputee, but now he was a reptile. A cold-blooded, scaly, animal known for the fear it inflicted.

He waited a month before he was able to call Al and check on Ed before he could call and apologize.

He _wanted_ Al to blame him, god knows why, but he did.

“Goodnight, Alphonse.”

“Sir, wait-”

 

The phone hung silently on its handle, and Roy let out a long-suffering sigh.

Maybe Al could forgive him, and maybe no one else blamed him, but for now, this just felt like another black mark on Roy's life.

 

He'd go back to bed.

Even if Roy would probably lay awake until dawn, it wasn't like he wasn't used to sleepless nights.

 

 

 

 

Al looked at the phone in his grasp and listened to the steady tone coming from it. He sighed and set it back on the receiver before he turned back to the couch.

Ed was asleep again, but each breath he took was an audible wheeze.

Al took the thick red comforter in his hands and tucked it around Ed's shoulder before he sat down on the edge by Ed's foot.

His tail was hanging off the edge, and Al moved it into his lap. The base of it started just at Ed's tailbone and was about as thick as his arm, but it tapered off towards the end, where it was only the width of a finger.

Al had never really had much interest in reptiles, he thought some of them were cute, like the geckos he would see in books, or the little garden snakes in the park, but his knowledge of them only went so far.

He knew they were cold-blooded, and he knew that they needed external heat sources to regulate temperature, but that was really as far as it went.

He needed to go to the library.

But he couldn't leave Ed alone, and he certainly couldn't take him to the library with him, no matter how much Ed could enjoy it, not yet.

Al started petting the tail, feeling the cool, smooth scales beneath his hand as they turned to the ridge on the top.

He never really thought that scales would feel anything but rough, but they were actually quite nice.

Al fell asleep like that, leaning back on the couch, but when he woke up, Ed was leaning against him, fast asleep, with the blanket wrapped around the both of them.

 

Ed was still Ed, he just had to find a way to get him well again, then Al could go back to being the little brother, the one who Ed felt like he had to take care of.

 

But when Ed woke, cold and sluggish, he was alone under the blanket.

He could hear Al on the phone.

“Someone needs to be here with him, and I have to go to the library.”

Silence.

“No, Darius and Heinkel are at Headquarters today.”

Silence.

“Okay.”

Al hung up.

“Al?”

Al jolted around. “Brother, I thought you were asleep.”

“Just woke up.”

Al turned back to the kitchen. “Are you hungry this morning? I can make something for us. I was going to go to the library, but no one is able to come here this morning.”

 _I don't need a sitter_ , Ed wanted to say, but the words never formed, and when he opened his mouth to speak, he said, “I'm not hungry.”

Al's face dropped, “You didn't eat last night, you need to eat something now.”

 _I'm not used to eating regularly anymore_. “Okay.”

“Come sit at the table, then. I'll get you some breakfast.” Al said as he opened their icebox.

 

Ed stood shakily, and made his way past the doorway, leaning on it for support. Even with his new tail, balance was still hard to come by with a single leg.

Maybe he would get automail soon.

As he sat down, a plate of cold, raw vegetables and a hunk of boiled chicken.

Ed was starving.

As he started eating, careful of his sharpened, grooved teeth, he thought of the apple pie Winry had promised them, and the souffle that Gracia had often given him while he and Al were on their journey. Even the greasy and kind of gross train food he ate so often.

But the doctor had said, vegetables and meats, some fruit. Nothing processed.

Ed wanted to point out that he ate whatever Eustace brought him, and most of the time it was leftovers from the man's own dinner, be it store-bought or home cooked, and it never harmed him, but once more the words would not come.

 

When Ed had finished a third of his plate, he stopped eating.

He'd finished the chicken, and the kale was gone, but everything else was hardly touched.

His stomach ached for more, but even if he ate more he would still feel empty.

He missed bread.

Good old carbs.

But here he was, eating the diet of a rabbit. _Of a lizard, more like_ , and losing what little fat remained on his body.

Ed wondered how long it would take to starve.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew.  
> This updated quicker than I was planning, but I was up all night with a sick kitten I'm fostering, and had nothing better to do as she slept in my lap, so, new chapter!  
> This will probably be updated every few days to a week.  
> I just graduated High School, and I've been accepted into college, so I've really got a lot of free time right now!  
> I hope my writing isn't as bad as I think it is, and thank you for reading.


	3. Chicken Noodle Soup

Ed was not happy.

Whether he could speak up about it or not.

So, his little brother took care of him because he needed it.

He helped him walk and get dressed, he fixed him meals.

But one thing Al never tried to do was _feed him_.

 

“C'mon, Ed!” Kain pleaded, holding out a spoon of vegetable mush. “Al said you have to eat!”

Ed raised an eyebrow and reached out for the bowl.

“No, Ed!” Kain brought the bowl away from Edward and sighed, “Al says you haven't eaten a full meal since you left the hospital.”

_Because it's all vegetables! I need more!_

“So I'm going to make sure you eat all of it!”

The face Ed was making must've been horrible, because Kain's smile faltered. He looked down into the bowl and sighed, “You must be awfully tired of these.” He reasoned, “Maybe I can find you something else to eat.”

Ed looked up sharply. “Yes!”

Kain jumped and blinked stupidly at Ed. “Did- did you just speak?”

“Yes, yes! Something different!”

Kain's smile came back full force as he got up from his seat at the kitchen table and moved to the cupboards. “Hmm, you've got some canned soups up here, would you like some of that?”

“Yes!”

_Six words so far today. I've already beaten yesterday's two, even if all I say is 'yes.'_

“Okay!” Kain sounded much happier than he did when he first showed up that day. “Chicken noodle soup is good for sick people, I'll heat you up some of this.”

Oh, salt. Good old salt. Maybe Ed wouldn't give Al the cold shoulder for getting him what was essentially a babysitter. Not if it meant getting real food!

 

Eventually, Kain sat back down with a new bowl, a steaming hot bowl with the most delicious smell rising with it.

Though when Kain lifted up a spoon to feed Ed once more, Ed just sighed.

“I can feed myself.” Kain started a little, and Ed felt shocked as he actually heard those words leave his mouth, those words that he had wanted to speak since the subject of dinner came up.

“Oh, well, as long as you eat it all, that's fine.”

The bowl was pushed across the table and Ed stared down into the creamy broth.

It probably had milk or some sort of cream in it, but that didn't matter.

Not when it was the first time in a month since he had anything besides peas and carrots and chicken.

 

He had just barely gotten the first spoonful, the first _marvelous, flavorful, wonderful, salty_ spoonful into his mouth when he heard the apartment door open and Alphonse call out “I'm back!”

Busted.

 

“The library was really empty, but they didn't have a lot of books on-” Al cut off as he stepped into the kitchen.

The soup sat innocently on the table, but the spoon was still in Ed's mouth.

 

“What's that?”

 

Al's voice was quiet. The kind of quiet their mother would get right before they got in trouble.

 

“Chicken soup.” Kain answered honestly, “He was refusing the vegetables, and when I suggested something different, he started talking, so I thought...”

“Did you think at all?” Al's voice was rising. “I told you he can only eat vegetables and meats! I don't know what kind of chemicals and preservatives are in canned soup!”

“I-” Kain looked horrified, but more at Al's reaction than the possibility of bad soup.

“You could've hurt him! How much has he eaten?”

“Just- a mouthful.” Kain almost sounded like he was going to cry. “I just thought he'd like something else to eat.”

“Maybe he would, but he isn't human anymore!”

 

There was ringing in Ed's ears.

 

Al was right. Ed isn't human. But to hear Al say it like that, it just… It just hurt.

 

But he couldn't show that hurt. Not when the rage forced itself to the front.

 

Ed let out a low growl. His words would come this time when rage and hurt overpowered the fear that kept them silent.

“It's good to know what you think, Al.”

But instead of the regret, Ed expected to see on his face, Al was still showing only anger.

“Oh,” Al scoffed, “So you're talking now, then?”

 

The rage in Ed's chest was replaced with guilt. Guilt did not melt away the silence, so no more words came.

 

“That's what I thought.”

 

“Alphonse!” Kain scolded, “I can't believe you!”

Al turned back to Kain. “Can't believe _me_? I'm not the one who's giving everyone the silent treatment!”

“Al, I really think he can't talk.”

“He's not mute! HE should be able to speak a word or two whenever someone speaks to him!”

 

Ed didn't wait around any longer.

Steadier on his leg than he had been in a long time, he rushed for the door, stumbling only once before he was outside.

It was late evening, and the sun was going down, but the last rays of light were still warm, and they gave Ed the energy he needed to walk.

 

“Edward!”

 

He heard Kain call after him and he broke into a run. It was difficult on his prosthetic, and he wasn't going fast, but their little apartment was on the ground. There were no stairs for Ed to struggle with before he was gone, running down into the alleyways.

 

“Edward!”

 

The calls of his name still echoed through as Ed took turn after turn down the darkening streets.

Ed didn't know how long had passed before he slipped in a puddle and fell down for the last time. The sun had sunk below the horizon, and Ed curled up against the wall of some building and shivered.

He shouldn't have run, he knew that.

But the look on Al's face…

He couldn't bear it any longer.

He was just a burden.

It was his own fault he was taken from that train. If he was just paying attention nothing would have happened.

He would've fought the man off, or dodged that first attack, anyway.

It was his own fault that Al was disgusted with him. It was understandable, really. He was a reptile now.

 

Ed was nearly asleep when footsteps began on the edges of his hearing.

Shivers wracked his body, and he could see his breath puffing in front of him as the two large figures approached.

“Edward?” The smaller of the two realized, “What are you doing all the way out here?”

Ed couldn't keep his head up long enough to realize who it was, let alone form a response.

“We should take him home.”

 

“We're closer to ours than his.”

 

“Al will be worried.”

 

“We'll call him, come on, pick him up.”

 

Something big and warm wrapped itself around Ed, and his tail wrapped around it as he burrowed closer.

He counted four steps before he slipped into sleep.

 

 

When Ed woke up, he was in front of a fireplace and on a sofa as usual, but the blanket draped over him was thinner, and its scent didn't bear his own, but something cat-like. It smelled of cats and woodsmoke.

 

When he sat up, he heard Heinkel speak up.

“So you're awake.”

Ed turned to meet his eyes and nodded.

“Good. Maybe you can tell us why you were alone on the streets last night.”

Ed looked down at his lap and pulled his legs up to his chest.

He heard him sigh.

“I understand why you aren't speaking, but not everyone does. Darius and I didn't speak much after our change either. It's the trauma, and it will pass.”

 

“Doesn't feel like it.” Ed scoffed.

 

“No.” Heinkel agreed.

 

“You-” Ed stopped himself. It wasn't his place to ask.

 

“Go on.” Heinkel urged, “Ask. I don't know what you need to, but I'll answer anything I can.”

 

“You don't eat, like cat-food, or anything?”

There was a snort, and then full-on laughter.

“No, no.” He answered, “I eat human food. I might be a chimera, but I'm still more human than lion.” Something must've occurred to him, as his face changed from humor to concern.

“Why?”

Ed swallowed and tried to work up the courage to speak.

“Al won't let me eat anything but raw vegetables and boiled meats. I'm sick of it and… I'm starving. It's not enough, what he gives me.”

 

Silence, then: “Is that why you ran off?”

 

Ed flinched. “Al had to go to the library, and he didn't want to leave me alone, so he had Fuery come and watch after me. He made me some chicken soup, and Al was furious. He called me inhuman, and I know I am, but it still got to me.” Now that the words were coming they wouldn’t stop. “I spoke up, I said something rude, and all acted like I was pretending like I couldn’t sometimes talk like I'm some kid looking for attention. I couldn’t just sit there and take it, so I left.”

 

Heinkel turned towards the hallway to their left and called out. “Darius! Set a third plate for dinner.”

 

Part of Ed wanted to get up and leave, find his way back to Al to apologize for… For something, whatever Al felt like Ed needed to apologize for, but the allure of a filling meal…

 

“We're having potato pancakes.”

 

Ed was staying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm basing the case of selective mutism off of my own.  
> Sometimes I want to say something, and I plan to, only to realize that the words just won't come out.  
> I had it really badly when I was little. Most people would call me 'shy,' while others would call me a manipulative brat.  
> And taking care of someone who has gone through trauma is stressful, and this situation is stressful enough to even have someone like Al snap at a certain point.
> 
> Quick updates because I'm stuck at home with the beforementioned sick kitten and nothing to do but write!  
> Don't know how long that will last, though!


	4. Morning Coffee

Al was crying by the time he and Kain made it back inside.

 

“ _Maybe he would, but he isn't human anymore!”_

 

“ _So you're talking now, then?”_

 

God, he was an asshole.

 

Tears were running down his cheeks, and snot was dripping from his nose. How could he have said those things to Ed? His own brother, his only brother, who had just been through hell. Of course he'd been traumatized, and maybe it does make sense that he would have trouble speaking after what he went through.

Whatever it was he went through, he wouldn't speak enough for them to find out the whole story.

 

Al jumped when a hand squeezed his shoulder.

 

“It'll be okay.” Kain reasoned, “You did tell me not to give him anything but vegetables, and you were scared and angry. He'll come back.”

 

Al just shook his head. He didn't think he could talk through his tears.

Maybe that's how Ed felt all the time now. Like he didn't have the breath for speech.

 

The phone in the kitchen rang.

Kain went to answer it.

 

 _He's going to freeze to death!_ Al panicked, _He's going to fall and hit his head, or some jerk will find him and kill him. People will shoot, thinking he's a monster. Oh, god, he's dead, he's dead._

 

“Al? It's Heinkel, Ed's- Al!”

Al was pulled into a hug as his breaths turned to sobs and he started shaking.

“How could I have said that?” Al moaned, “I called him a monster! He's going to freeze out there, and it'll be all my fault! Why couldn't I have just let him have his soup?”

 

“It's okay, Al. Heinkel just called, they found Ed and he's with them. He's asleep over there and when he wakes up they're going to give him something to eat, okay?”

 

“Did you tell him that he can only eat meats and vegetables?”

 

“No, Al. They're chimeras, too. They'll know if that's true or not.”

 

That just made Al cry harder.

 

 

 

Ed cleared his plate with the speed he used to have. It was _delicious._ Golden brown potato discs covered in a mushroom sauce with roasted carrots and squash.

He'd been helped to seconds and thirds before he finally felt full.

 

“What made Al think that you could only eat vegetables and meat?”

Ed shrugged, “It's what the doctor said, but he also said that he's 'no veterinarian.'”

 

Both men growled, a bit of their chimera sides showing through.

“You need a new doctor, then.”

 

Ed sighed, “I don't know. I'm more a chimera than you are. I can't shift.`

 

“Doesn't mean you're more or less of an animal, just means you're more fused. The person who changed us wanted soldiers with animal-like abilities. What did your alchemist want?”

 

Ed was quiet. He hadn't even told Al that.

 

“He said I was the perfect subject. I was already an amputee, and he wanted to find a way for a human to regrow limbs like some lizards can regrow tails.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“It never worked, no matter how many times he tried, or how man lizards he fused me with.”

 

“You were fused with multiple animals? How many?”

 

Ed was starting to regret eating thirds. “At least seven. Not all were lizards. There was an alligator, and some kind of python.”

 

“Don't tell anyone else that man's motives, Edward.” Darius sounded serious. More serious than Ed had ever heard. “If this reaches the military, there is every chance they will drop the argument for your human-chimera rights and just take you straight to a lab.”

 

“I haven't.” Ed said, “But I have to tell Al. I really upset him today.”

 

Heinkel sighed, “Fine, but no one else. Whatsoever.”

 

Ed nodded, and that was that.

 

 

 

Al was waiting at the door the next morning when Ed came limping back with Darius at his side.

“Brother!” Al cried out and wrapped his arms around Ed, who nearly jumped out of his skin.

“I was so worried about you! We looked and looked, but you weren't anywhere near here! I was ready to call in a search party.”

 

“Sorry, Al.” Ed hugged him back. _Two words. Things are getting easier._

 

“It's okay, Ed. I shouldn't have said what I did. You're still my brother, even if you're a chimera now, and that shouldn't change anything.”

Al let go and nodded at Darius. “Thank you for letting him stay. I'll be back in court by Monday.”

 

Darius smiled. “That's okay, we've got some other people coming in to defend Ed. We're winning.”

 

“Good,” Al sighed, “But I'd still like to come in, so I'll see you then.” He turned to Ed, and took his arm, “Come inside, brother, it's still cold out, and I've got breakfast on the stove.”

 

The stove? Before now, breakfast had always been raw vegetables, and maybe some boiled chicken, if he was lucky. But nothing for him was ever on the stove.

When they got in, it was to the strong smell of fresh bread and sausage. There were two plates set at the table, both laden with both a large bread roll, and slices of fresh fruit. On the stove, there were a few links of sausage warming, while a pot of coffee sat on the counter.

 

Ed turned to his little brother. “I can have all this?”

Al's brow furrowed. “Yes. I'm sorry for trying to keep you on that diet. I made a few calls, and apparently Kain wasn't the only one who thought I was wrong about it.”

 

 

Al helped Ed into the chair, and poured him a full mug of coffee. No cream, but he could smell the sugar in it.

 

“I'm sorry.” Al began. “I don't know why I said all of that yesterday. I don't think it, and you certainly don’t need to hear it.”

 

“That's okay.” _Four words_. “I need to try to talk more.” _Eleven_.

 

Al placed a few links onto Ed's plate and sat down. “It's okay. We need you better more than you need to talk. I'm getting you a new doctor, too.”

 

Ed nodded, but this time not because he couldn’t speak, but because his mouth was full.

 

The day went well, Ed coughed much less than usual, and the day was warm. Everything was fine. Until dinner.

 

 

 

Their final meal had been cooking nearly all day. Beef stew, simmering in a large pot. There was probably enough in there to feed everyone in their apartment complex, but most of it was for Ed. Even if Al enjoyed it too, he didn't like it nearly as much as his older brother.

The trouble came when he was ladling it out into their bowls.

“I think it's time we get your automail back.” One sentence that started it all.

Ed was holding the bowl up, but the moment the sentence ended, it fell to the floor.

 

“My automail?”

 

Al had frozen at the look of absolute terror on Ed's face.

 

“Ed?”

 

Ed's eyes were wide and unfocused, and his single hand had balled into a fist. Red rivulets of blood dripped from between his fingers, where the talons on his hand had surely punctured through his scaly palm.

 

“Brother?” Al moved slowly by the table, and knelt down to look into his older brother's down-turned face. “You're hurting yourself!” He took Ed's hand into his own, only for Ed to flinch away so violently that his chair skidded a foot away before it turned back, throwing Ed out of it.

 

Al was more careful now. He moved cautiously over to where Ed half-lay on the floor, being quite sure not to make any sudden movements.

“Ed?” He tried once more, “Edward?”

 

Ed closed his eyes and shook his head, drawing his legs up close to him, before wrapping his tail around them.

“No more.”

 

“No more what?” Al asked, gingerly laying a hand on Ed's shoulder. “Brother, what is it?”

Ed shook his head again, choking back a sob. “It hurts.”

 

“What hurts?” Al wasn't sure if he was getting more frustrated, or more afraid for Ed.

 

Ed's eyes opened with a jerk. The reptillian slit his pupils had taken on widened, then relaxed. He made a lunge for Al, pulling him close with one arm, and holding him still with one three foot long tail.

 

Al held him back, partly to comfort Ed, and partly to comfort himself after that outburst.

 

 

 

_Ed didn't know for sure how long he'd been in that cell. Whether it was a few days, a week, or if he was just that impatient, and only a few hours had passed._

_Then he heard footsteps descending into the dark little basement._

_There was the squealing of rusty metal on rusty metal, then the footsteps continued closer._

 

“ _Poor little thing.” The voice was yards away, but it echoed eerily through the large room. “It seems like yesterday's transmutation failed. Poor little creature. Such a short time in our world.” Ed heard the man click his tongue. “Hopefully the transmutation doesn't kill you, Edward dear.”_

 

_So the man knew who Ed was. Was he hoping for a ransom? Ed could fight his way past a kidnapper, especially one as old as this man._

…

 _Even if he was taken from his train, that wasn't_ his _fault. The man had drugged him. Ed didn't expect anything from the sad old man sitting in the corner._

_Even if he should have._

 

_Wait. Transmutation?_

 

_The footsteps grew closer, and soon enough the old man was standing right outside Ed's cell, hunched over and shaking as he was, there was something unsettling about the man. Something dangerous._

_Something that reminded Ed of Shou Tucker._

 

_There was a horrible feeling of fear starting to churn in Ed's belly._

 

_The man sighed, and fiddled with the key in his hand._

 

“ _You heard me right, Edward. You see, I specialize in Chimeras.”_

 

_Ed's stomach dropped. He felt bile in the back of his throat as an idea planted itself in his head. This man wanted to turn him into a chimera._

_Like Nina._

 

“ _I almost had state certification.” The man sounded wistful, “I came so close, but they already had someone who could do my work. No need for old Eustace back then, and still not now, I wouldn’t think.”_

 

_Ed braced himself when he saw the man -Eustace- reach into his pocket._

 

_He pulled out a needle, and Ed's blood turned to ice._

 

_Eustace continued to speak as he uncapped the needle. “I wanted to find a way to heal wounds immediately. I still haven’t worked my way up to that level of skill, but you know what I have done?”_

_He didn't wait for an answer._

“ _I've cut the limbs from many animals, dogs mostly, but that doesn’t matter. You see, I fused them with reptiles, geckos especially, to see if I could make them regrow their legs.”_

 

_Ed was almost sick, but there didn't seem to be anything left in his stomach._

_He'd been here for more than a few hours if that was the case._

 

“ _They did!” Eustace grinned, and Ed felt like he was looking into the face of a serial killer. “They grew their legs back, so it's time to move on to humans.”_

_The man unlocked the cell door, and Ed got himself ready to bolt._

_Forget fighting, he needed to run._

 

“ _But then I heard about you, well, that was years ago, but the point stands. You're a talented alchemist, Fullmetal, they call you, and from what I've heard, from my calculations too, that should boost the effect. And you come missing two limbs! That's good, very good. It's quite hard to remove entire legs, let me tell you.”_

 

_Ed was panicking as the man opened the door._

_As soon as it was as far open as the man was willing to open it, Ed leaped to his feet and pulled back his automail fist._

_But the man was fast. Even in his old age. Maybe you had to be, when you worked with violent creatures._

_But that didn't matter, not when Ed found himself tripped and held down on the floor, pinned by the old man's weight on his back, and one hand around his neck._

 

“ _We'll have none of that, young man. I'm doing you a favor, see? If this works, you'll have your arm and leg back! You can do whatever it is you want and never worry about injuries again!”_

 

“ _I don't care!” Ed screamed at the man, “I don't want them back, not like this!”_

 

“ _What other way is there?” Eustace asked, “I'm doing this as a favor, a gift. You should be grateful.”_

 

_The needle made it's way through Ed's skin, and he felt something cool spread through his body._

_Soon enough, his struggles ceased._

_He couldn't move._

 

“ _I'm afraid all I have is a paralytic. No painkillers.”_

 

“ _What do you plan to do?” Ed hissed through clenched teeth._

 

“ _Well, if I want you to regrow your arm and leg, first I have to do away with this automail. Beautiful pieces, by the way.”_

 

 _Then there was pressure at his right shoulder, or what was left of it. The man was trying to_ pull off his automail arm.

 

“ _Y-You idiot!” Ed only managed to shake against his captor. “You can't pull automail off!”_

_The pressure stopped._

 

“ _It seems that you're right. I guess I'll have to resort to my bone saw after all.”_

 

 

_Hours later, Ed lay panting on his little cot. The bleeding had slowed, but Ed was still down more flesh. Another ache where his leg was now shorter drew a low moan from his lungs, but it was much better than the screaming earlier._

 

_And Ed thought it hurt when the gate took his limbs._

_Now he knew better._

_Now he knew that he really was in trouble as the transmutation lit up around him._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a tumblr now!  
> Here it is!  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/quicksilver7773  
> I'll mostly be posting this fic, but every once in a while I'll be posting a bit of my art of it, so check every now and again!


	5. Oddly Satisfying

Eventually, Ed fell asleep in Al's arms, the both of them still seated on the kitchen floor.

The trembling had ceased, as had the constant muttering.

But the tear stains would remain on Al's shirt. And the memory of the fear in his big brother's eyes would remain in his mind for days to come.

As would the blood stains on the couch, the claw marks on his skin, and the scales on Edward's skin.

 

Carefully, Al stood, pulling Ed, who was now only half-asleep, up with him.

“Al?” Ed asked hoarsely.

“Time for bed.”

Edward nodded weakly and stumbled along next to Al until they reached his couch.

As Allied his brother down, who instantly fell into a troubled sleep, he thought of the second bedroom their apartment held.

Ed's bedroom, or what was meant to be his. Al had bought the little apartment not long after Ed's kidnapping. He wanted there to be a home for Ed to come back to when he was found, with a comfortable bed, his own space, and bookshelves, even a little extra room for a pet, if Ed chose to have one.

Al almost adopted a kitten.

Now that he had his ill and traumatized brother to care for, he was glad he didn't.

 

But Ed couldn't use the room with the double bed and the floor-to-ceiling bookshelf, nor the wooden desk or the plush armchair.

Not when he needed the fireplace just to stay warm at night. Not when Al wanted to be just that little bit closer to Ed when he inevitably had a nightmare or a coughing fit in the middle of the night.

 

 

Al didn't make it to the courthouse on Monday, as a new problem had arisen alongside Ed's apparent flashbacks.

Ed had begun to shed his skin.

 

Al hadn't even noticed Ed's dulling skin, but he had noticed that his single hand had taken to scratching at his face and shoulders

He'd even seen Ed stop to scratch his back against the door frame of the kitchen once.

 

It probably shouldn't have surprised him, but watching Ed go to scratch his cheek, and for a layer of scales to come off with the sound of ripping tissue paper, well, he didn't really _scream_.

 

But Ed was moody, and after everything, they went through to get him on the correct diet, which after contacting a different doctor, seems to be anything with just a bit more protein, Ed was now refusing any and all food.

 

And now Al was at a loss for what to do.

 

He watched Ed sit on the couch, peeling off any skin he could reach with his single hand, and dropping off each piece onto a growing pile of dead skin on the floor.

The whole process just seemed pointless to Al, that and somewhat disgusting.

 

“Do you,” Al paused with an awkward cough as Ed turned to him, little bits of scales peeling off his face, “need any help?”

 

“Oh,” Ed said, surprised, “Are you sure?”

 

Al nodded. “Why wouldn't I be?”

 

Ed smirked, a sign of the person he used to be, “You look just a bit grossed out.”

 

“Well,” Al started, embarrassed, “Your _skin_ is _peeling off_. Do you expect me to love this?”

 

Ed snorted, “Of course not.” Looking Al in the eye, he reached up and peeled a large chunk from his cheek. The skin underneath looked a bit wet. “But could your stomach handle it?”

 

Al wasn't sure, but he wasn't ready to admit defeat, either.

So he said nothing as he joined Ed, and took his single arm in hand, ready to start.

 

“I've already gotten my palm cleaned off,” Ed turned his arm over to show him, and sure enough, the skin was bright compared to the gray-tinged skin all over him.

 

Grimacing, Al took a corner of the old skin of Ed's wrist, and started peeling.

Again, there was the sound of tissue paper, or maybe just wet paper, tearing.

The smell was a bit coppery, too.

But as the skin peeled back with no resistance, Al felt more satisfied than nauseous.

With one strip away and settled in a pile that would no doubt be Al's responsibility to sweep up, he reached over to peel another, and another until Ed's arm was bare.

Al actually felt a bit disappointed.

 

Ed's look was knowing when he asked, “Think you could get my back? I'll get my leg.”

 

Al pretended not to be too happy about the request.

 

 

 

Roy, however, was not having a leisurely day.

As Ed's former, and hopefully future, commanding officer, he'd been called in to speak on whether Ed deserved readmission into the military as a chimera, and whether he should be allowed to become a State Alchemist once more.

 

His answer was simple and came easily. Yes, and yes. But convincing people had not been easy by any stretch of the imagination.

Were human beings just naturally against anything even remotely different?

There was enough infighting about things as simple as skin color, and even about whether one was an alchemist or not.

Ed didn't seem to have many supporters.

The people weren't happy that human chimeras like Darius and Heinkel had gotten to stay in the military, a military made to protect pure humans, made by pure humans as some so nicely put it.

But it was easier to accept them, as they did have separate human and chimera forms, but that was a luxury Edward did not get to have.

Maybe the alchemist that fused Edward wasn't skilled enough, or maybe he just didn't want a super soldier in the first place.

 

Another fact that held Ed back, in particular, was that he was reptilian.

People were afraid of snakes and lizards, and even the traits of scales and forked tongues were often used as horror implements, and if Roy was being honest, Ed did look like some horror-comic character.

Even so, he still had the brain of a human being, even if he had a few different features.

 

He was still young, and this could be the end of his human life.

An end for his life with Al, and anyone else he could end up with throughout his life, and a beginning of a life in another cell, more experiments, and pain.

Until his life ended, be it from age, the procedures, or by his own hand.

They were losing the battle, and it would be Ed who suffered for it.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love watching my reptiles shed.  
> It's so satisfying to watch, and my snake struts around afterward like he's proud of himself.


	6. Fears

Two months had passed since Edward's rescue, and two months was the amount of time it took for his team to force Roy to go and visit the Elric brothers.

“You're fighting for them,” Riza had said, “You might as well see how they're doing.” It was phrased like a suggestion but spoken as an order.

And Roy was the highest ranking one in that office. Hardly meant he was the one in charge.

 

Riza had driven and dropped him off at the apartment complex where the two lived. Apartment 1-10, he'd been told to look for, the last one on the ground floor.

He'd been there before when Ed had still been missing, but the door was hardly as foreboding, and the welcome mat at the door was much less dirty.

But before he could knock on the door, it opened to reveal Ed, glaring up at him from where he was balancing against the door frame, leaning to his right and the collar of his oversized shirt falling off of his shoulder.

Ed raised his eyebrow. “I could hear you out here. What do you want?” It was punctuated with a hiss like Ed really wasn't happy to see him.

 

“Brother!”

 

Al came up behind Ed and helped him move out of the way, even with Ed's hissed protest.

 

“Colonel, it's so good to see you! How have you been?” Al motioned for him to come in, and so Roy walked past the duo and into the kitchen area, where they all took a seat.

He smiled even as Ed snarled at him.

Though with the new addition of fangs, the scowls were less amusing and much more intimidating.

“I've been fine, Al,” Roy answered, but kept his eyes on the older brother. “But I should be asking you that.”

 

Al smiled kindly, “Just because Ed and I aren’t in the best shape right now doesn’t mean others can't be unwell.”

 

“But still, I'm well.” Roy nodded to Ed, “But you still seem ill.”

 

Ed shrugged, but Al agreed. “He's still got some kind of respiratory infection, and the medicines we've been using haven't helped. I don't know what to do.”

 

“What have you been giving him?”

 

“I'm right here!” Ed hissed, but he was ignored.

 

“I've given him arsphenamine, but that didn't do a thing, except make him tired.”

 

“What else?”

 

“Neosalvarsan.” Al answered, “It's helping some, it makes his breathing easier for a bit, but it just comes back. I don't know what else we can give him.”

 

Roy was quiet for a moment. “It isn't scheduled to come out on the market for another few years, but the labs are working on a new antibiotic, they're calling it Prontosil, and so far it's curing the test subjects of their illnesses. And,” Roy remembered, “It's a pill.”

 

“A pill?” Both brothers said simultaneously.

 

“Yes,” Roy smiled. “No need for injection.”

 

Ed looked excited, and for the first time noticed the bruising around his inner elbow. It made sense, it was the easiest place to inject it, and it wasn't like they could switch arms each time he needed a dose.

 

“Could you get it prescribed to us?” Al asked, “I mean, you probably don't run the experiments-”

 

“Not really,” Roy interrupted, “But I’m supervising it. If you register Ed as a practical test subject we could give it a try, if he's accepted.”

 

“Would they be willing to test it on a person?” Al asked.

 

Roy hesitated.

 

“Well,” he begun, “As much as I hate to admit it, Ed isn't yet legally considered a person. They'd be more than willing to experiment on a human chimera, more accurate results, you see.”

 

Ed looked resigned.

 

Al was a mix of fury and interest.

 

“They'd be willing to test what could make him sicker because he's a chimera?”

 

Ed stopped him with a hand on his arm. “You were willing to try it not a minute ago, and if it works, it works.” Then he paused, “And if it makes me sicker, this infection could very well kill me anyway.”

 

“Don't even think like that,” Roy ordered before Al could even muster up a response.

 

Ed raised an eyebrow, “You said it, I'm not even considered a person-”

 

“And we're all working to change that!”

 

“And if you can't change that, I'd rather die of illness quickly than alone somewhere in a lab.” Ed finished.

 

Neither could argue with that, not sincerely, but they would try anyway.

 

“We won't lose you,” Roy said firmly.

 

“And we won't let you die.” Al said, “We looked for you for a year and a half. I'm not going to give up after just a few months.”

 

“Then sign me up, Al.” Edward put his single fist on the table. “Human or not, I don't want to die!”

 

It was then that Roy saw something in Ed's eyes. It wasn' the determination that was in his voice, but fear for his life.

_Ed sat shaking in his little cell, pain jolting up his spine every time he took a breath._

_He couldn't tell what was different about him, not quite yet._

_Not when he couldn't move._

_At this point, it was only partly because of what remained of the paralytic in his system, and the rest was because of the just horrible agony he felt._

_There was a rippling in his flesh where scales were still popping up, and a horrible ache from where a tail grew out from beneath him._

 

_That man, he'd said this was but the first transmutation Ed would endure._

_A failure, he said it was as Ed continued to scream in pain and bleed on the floor, his appearance changed but his limbs still missing._

 

_Ed fought to stay awake through the haze of pain and drugs._

_Someone would be here soon, someone from the military, surely Al would be missing him as the train made it to Resembool…_

 

_But as the days passed, no one appeared, and soon enough Ed was well enough to sit up on his own, he moved back to the end of his little cot, and listened._

_The sounds of birds and dogs polluted the air, along with some calls that Ed couldn't identify._

_They were probably chimeras, the vocal chords of many animals meshed together to create such a horrific call._

 

_Then there was the sound of a door opening, and the animals fell silent, leaving only the foreboding echo of footsteps to fill the air, one after another until the man was standing before Ed once more._

 

“ _I'm sorry, my boy,” he said, “But I need to see if the transmutation was a complete failure, or if I just need to get more reptile DNA inside of you._

 

_Ed didn't move – he wasn't about to follow the old man anywhere, not after losing even more of his arm and leg, and it's not like he could with only one leg._

 

“ _Oh, don't worry about leaving your cell, I'll just come in there and try my hypothesis out.”_

 

_Ed pushed himself against the wall, but he knew there was no way out from this._

_Whatever the man was going to do, he was helpless. It was hard to move, he was in agony, and he was down two limbs._

 

_But there was no way he would just sit there and take whatever the man planned to do._

 

_As the man approached him – leaving the door open! – he lashed out with his leg, narrowly missing him._

_The man stepped to the side, and just into the path of his tail, which he lashed out to hit the man's side._

_Ed succeeded, but the man held onto his tail, two hands holding hard enough to hurt, and he started_ pulling _._

_Ed screamed as he watched blood well up along a thin line around his tail, and felt an indescribable feeling of pain as it was wrenched off._

 

_When the tail lay on the ground still, when it had stopped wriggling around on its own, Ed began to cry._


	7. For Better or Worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is squeamish, I'd recommend skipping down a bit.  
> There's a semi-graphic description of someone vomiting.

Edward's flashbacks were getting worse.

Within the space of a week, it seemed like every little thing set one off, and the things Edward would describe afterwards…

The experiments and tests, the transmutations themselves sounded agonizing.

Edward had described it as being ripped apart and sewn back together, cell by cell.

 

Al wished that the man hadn't died to that he could kill them himself.

 

So far he'd learned that Eugene had cut off Edward's ports instead of removing them, he'd pulled off his tail every time it grew back in an effort to learn what was keeping Ed's limbs from growing back.

But the bits of Edward's leg that was cut off did regrow, only to stop at the place the ports once were.

The man had not seemed to especially enjoy it, but treated it like science, which it was, but to treat a human being like that…

Al wondered if Edward would ever truly recover. His wounds would heal, and eventually his automail would be reattached, and even his cough would go away, but the mental scars.

Having to deal with what Ed did, wondering every day if he would see sunlight, wondering if he would ever see his family, even if he would wake up the next day or succumb to the cold and wet of his cell...

 

His thoughts were cut off by Ed coughing, and Al waited for a moment to see if it would stop before got out of bed with a sigh. It was nearly one in the morning, but he hadn't slept. He hadn't slept since Ed told him about the way the man looked at him, like he was nothing, no more than an ant that he was considering stepping on. And by the sound of his coughing, it seemed like Ed hasn't slept any either.

 

So Al goes out into the main room, and seeing the blood on Ed's lips, goes into the kitchen to wet a towel to clean Ed's face with along with one of Ed's new pills. He sets water on to boil and listens to the wet sound of Ed's coughing as he fixes a warm cup of his tea. The pills had been helping so far, especially combined with the honeyed chamomile tea that soothed Ed's raw throat.

It almost seemed lie Ed was finally getting better.

 

But as he reached Ed, who was still coughing, he jumped up from his seat, slapped a hand over his mouth and made a stumbling dash for the bathroom.

Al heard the slam of the toilet seat going up, followed by a horrible retching. It wasn't the first time the coughs had triggered Ed's gag reflex, but at the sound of the pained moan afterwards, Al felt himself freeze.

“Edward!” Al dropped his burdens and ran after him, ignoreing the shattering of pottery when the teacup hit the floor, spilling tea everywhere, and got there in time to see Ed coughing up clots of dark red blood, followed by even more deep, wet coughing.

 

“Don't” Ed spat, “come in!”

 

Al took a step back, but continued to watch, his stomach lurching in sympathy as he began to throw up again. Al ignored Ed's order and the following gurgling hiss as he took Ed's hair and held it back for him. There were a few reddened, vomit-stained strands, but Al ignored it in favor of patting Ed's back soothingly.

What Al saw come out was dark and bloodied, and there was so much it had to have been everything Ed had eaten in the past day. The smell turned Al's stomach and he felt nausea curl in his own gut as he wondered if he too would be puking soon.

This went on for minutes, until Al considered calling an ambulance, and right when he decided he would go get the phone, Ed slumped back, a sob escaping him.

“Call… a doctor!” Ed cried, tears of pain rolling down his cheeks as the coughing continued. “It won't… stop!”

 

 

It was nearly an hour later when Roy joined them in the hospital. Al sat waiting in one of the chairs in the entry, but he shot up when he saw Roy run in, followed closely by Riza, as always.

 

“What's happened?” Roy demanded, coming over to Al and gesturing for him to sit back down as Riza pulled two chairs to face Al.

 

Al glanced over at the clock before he began. “I woke up to Ed coughing, and I started doing what I usually do. I got a towel, and made some tea, but Ed started throwing up blood, and… and it just wouldn’t stop! There was so much blood, and Ed even asked me to call an ambulance.”

 

“He was throwing up blood?” Riza asked, “Has this happened before?”

 

“No!” Al groaned, “This was new.”

 

“When can we see him?” Roy asked.

 

“We can go up anytime now,” Al answered, “But the doctor said he would be asleep, and I was scared to go up on my own.”

 

Riza gave him a knowing smile before standing, “If that's the case we can all go see him now. It's better to know soon whats going on than to wait imagining the worst, don't you think?”

 

Al nodded miserably, but followed them obediently up the stairs to the third floor, where Edward lay in room 325, the last one on the hall.

 

Opening the door was agony for Al. It couldn’t go fast or slow enough for him. One half of his mind never wanted to see what lay behind the door while the other half couldn’t stand another moment not knowing.

Going up to his bedside, Al looked down at Edward. His skin was fish-belly pale, even his coloruful scales had dulled as if he was about to go into shed. His hair seemed to be matted with sweat, and there were bits of it that were matted with blood and worse.

His arm was above the blankets with an IV taped to his hand and another one in his elbow.

But the worst part was the oxygen mask on his face, making sure that he stayed breathing.

 

Roy was the last one in, having stopped to talk to the doctor.

“He says that Ed has been suffering from Re-feeding Syndrome, and what you were seeing, Al, was the final stage of it. If you hadn't gotten Ed here he could've very well died tonight.”

 

“Re-feeding Syndrome?” Al asked for clarification.

 

“It occurs when someone is severely malnourished. The body changes where it's getting its nutrition from what it's eating, to the body's resources. Edward got it because of the sudden change from starvation, to minimal nutrients, to eating a normal, heavy meal three times a day. His body was eating at the lining of his stomach, and that's where the blood was coming from.”

 

Alphonse let out a pained noise, “This is my fault, then.” He placed his hands on the edge of Edward's bed. “I almost killed my brother.”

 

“No.” Roy said, “You had no way of knowing this was possible, and I believe I have a new defence for Edward. Because he wasn't allowed normal check-ups and regular doctors visits, we didn't discover this until it was almost too late. It took an emergency to find out that he had a life-threatening condition. Don't worry, Alphonse. We'll have Edward better in no time.”


	8. Going Broke

Al went to visit Edward in the hospital every day, but it never seemed like he was getting better.   
To Al, the multitude of pills Edward was being given looked like some kind of death sentence, as if Ed needed all those supplements and medications just to stay alive, and really, he did.   
The giant vitamins he had to take multiple times a day, and the huge drip of electrolyte-rich saline scared him, as did the very tiny, downright disgusting looking meals they gave him only twice a day. Half a cup of potatoes and liver mush joined by a single boiled egg did not seem like something someone so sick would be given, but the doctors insisted that it was what he needed to being with, and soon enough, granted that he took all the medicine and stopped taking out his IV, he would be eating like a normal person once again.  
That made Al feel better, the simple fact they said 'normal person.'  
They weren't treating Ed like an animal, like that first doctor was.

“How are you feeling today?” Al asked as he sat himself down in the hard, plastic chair that stood next to Edward's bed. 

“Better.” Edward's voice was a rasp; the acid from his stomach had torn his throat apart in the last few days, and it seemed like it would get worse before it got better. “My stomach doesn’t hurt.”

Al smiled at his big brother, and carefully held his hand, steering clear of the IV taped to it. “That's great. I wanted to bring you something good to eat today, but the doctor said they can't deviate from your diet at all quite yet. So, when you get home I'll make you something, anything you want, okay?”

“Okay.” Ed closed his eyes for a moment, he was still so tired. The doctors had finally gotten his electrolyte level back to a relatively normal level, but his Vitamin B and iron levels were still low, and the doctors had to add in a high-dose iron supplement to his already large selection of pills and injections. At this point, Ed felt like he might get over his irrational fear of needles.  
Or maybe it would come back just as strong as soon as he had the energy to fight against them again.

“What would you like me to make?” Al pressed, “I don't know when they'll release you, but when you do I want to have the best recipe for it I can find!”

“Stew.” Ed decided, almost without thinking. “I'd like some stew.” The last time Alphonse had made the dish, Edward didn't manage even a bite after triggering the very first flashback. The sight of the stewed meat turned his stomach, so much like the gruel he had been fed…   
No. Ed took his hand away from Al's and pressed the heel of it into his forehead, willing the thoughts away.  
He wouldn’t delve back into another flashback.   
He could wait until Al left if he had to.

But Al just smiled and took his hand again, squeezing hard, giving Ed something to ground himself with, to stay in the present.  
The present had it's own share of horrors, but he would take it in a heartbeat over what he went through with all those transmutations…

Al's hand was squeezing again, as if he could read Edward's mind, but that would be okay. That would be okay right now.

“You'll get better, brother.” Al promised, “and maybe we can get you back to normal, too. We can look for a way to get you back-”

“No, Al.” Edward wasn't really supposed to speak this much, but there was no way he was going to risk everything again to just remove a few scales. “It took Hoenheim's life and the arm you sacrificed yourself for to just bring you back whole. We're not going to risk anything like that again for me.”

Al sighed, he had expected that answer, but if Ed had wanted him to, he would've given up his own arm and leg to get him human again. “Alright, but if something happens and we can fix you, we'll take it, okay?”

Edward didn't respond as the door to his room opened and a nurse came in holding a tray.  
That would be his breakfast and morning doses. 

Al scooted back as the nurse set the tray down on his lap, and picked up the first of two bottles of pills and an injection. 

“Okay, Eddie!” The chipper nurse twisted off the cap and carefully withdrew one pill. Edward had wanted to ask her to just call him Ed, but once again he couldn't find the words, and Al hadn't wanted to make Ed feel like he couldn't even do that on his own, so he'd stayed silent.

So Ed took the pill from the nurse and tried to ignore the way his throat stung as the room-temperature water touched the raw spots. He did the same with the next two, and watched with wary eyes as the nurse uncapped the needle, and checked it for any air bubbles. 

“You only need one intramuscular shot today, Ed.” She explained, “You're getting much better. I don't think you'll be here for more than another week at the most.” She spoke throughout the procedure, keeping Ed's focus from the needle jammed into his arm, but nothing could distract him from the cold feeling spreading from the injection site.

“It's good to see you here today, Alphonse. Edward's been here a week now, and the doctor wants to give you the first bill. So go on down to the front desk and we'll get you one, okay?”

The bill. Al had been dreading getting it. After Edward went MIA, the military had stopped paying him, and what Al had now was only what he had managed to withdraw from Edward's bank account before it was frozen with the discovery that Edward was a chimera.   
He had no access to any other money, and he could afford the apartment's rent each month, and he could afford to feed them for a couple months more, but the idea of the high price of a hospital bill…  
“Alright.” Al said, getting up. “I'll leave you to eat, brother. I'll be back later with some books for you, how's that sound?”

“Hmm.” Ed hummed around a mouthful of his breakfast, and waved goodbye at Al.

Al smiled back at him, but he couldn't fight the dread in his stomach.

When he made it to the desk, he gave his name, his brother's name, and watched with trepidation as the woman wrote onto a piece of paper.  
When she handed it to him, he felt cold.

“This is nearly a million Cenz!” Alphonse's voice squeaked, “There has to be a mistake!”

“The woman took the paper back with a tired sigh, and looked over the numbers once more. “No, sir, I can assure you that this is correct. You're being charged for his stay in the room, the emergency services, his meals and medications.”

“And this is only for the past week?” Al asked, fear creeping up his spine. He didn't even have a million Cenz. 

“No,” The nurse looked over her records. “Edward Elric is set to be released within the next week, and unless something changes, that is the complete total.”

Al bit the inside of his cheek to keep from screaming.

He needed help, but he couldn’t go to Ed. It would only make him try to leave the hospital, try to halve the bill, but he needed the medicine, and he needed the around the clock care to make sure he didn't regress.  
Mustang.

Mustang could help. Maybe, maybe he could get someone to unfreeze Ed's bank account, just enough to pay for the hospital bill, after all, it was Ed's money, right?

Wrong.

“I'm sorry, Al.” Mustang said, “There's no way to get to it now. It's the government's money now.”

“What am I going to do?” Al wanted to cry. What would happen when he failed to pay them? Would they cut off Edward's medicine? 

“Alphonse, I can give you what you need to reach the total.” Mustang said.

“I couldn't ask that of you.” Alphonse shook his head, “and I'd still need money to pay for the apartment, and Edward's prescriptions, and groceries, oh, and the-”

“Alphonse, I have a spare room and plenty of space in my home. You can stay with me until this all blows over. We'll pay his hospital bill together, and once we get this legal trouble over, you can find yourself another apartment.”

Al hesitated. He couldn’t ask that much from Mustang, but he had offered, hadn't he?   
And it wasn’t like he had another option.

“Alright.” Al sighed, “I'll go talk to my landlord.”


	9. Goodbyes

Perhaps it was a good that that Edward was so sick.

Sick enough to spare them his wrath, at the very least, Roy thought as he watched Al push Edward's wheelchair into the living room on the lower floor of his townhouse.

Ed didn't really react to anything, just looked around and silently accepted Al's help to get out of the chair and onto the couch.

Al moved the blanket from Ed's lap to wrap around his shoulders, and Ed held the corners together in his one hand.

 

“Don't worry about lighting the fire, Alphonse.” Roy said, “I'll light it now, why don't you bring in Edward's medications?”

 

“Oh, sure.” Al got up from where he had begun to pick up firewood, and made his away around the dining table, and out the front door.

 

Roy snapped to ignite the wood, and a warm blaze was soon overtaking the hearth.

 

Edward sighed, scooting to the edge of the couch just to get that much closer to the fire. “There was no warmth in the hospital.” Edward said, “It was cold, and there wasn't even any heat coming from the overhead lights.”

 

“They didn't do anything to keep you warm?” Roy was shocked, surely they would've taken into account that Edward was a chimera, and done something.

 

But Ed shook his head. “Not really,” he answered, “They made the food they gave me really hot, and that helped some, but mostly it just burned my tongue.

Edward flicked out his blue, forked tongue. “It's still a little burnt.”

 

“Well, I'll try to keep this fire going at all times, and if you need any more blankets-” Edward cut Roy off with a short laugh.

 

“I only use this blanket because I'm used to sleeping with one, and it's more comfortable this way. I don't really have any body heat to put it to use.” Edward pointed out, but he wasn't finished talking. “But if I'm near a fire it'll heat up, which is good, I guess. Though if I just piled on more it would take just that much longer for the actual heat to reach me.”

 

“I'm terribly sorry, Ed.” Roy apologized, “We should've had someone keeping an eye on you two, especially so soon after the promised day.”

 

Edward glared at him. “He probably would've taken the guards, too, or just waited until I was alone.” Edward reasoned, “It happened, Mustang, and as shitty as this situation is, I'm still alive, and I've still got one arm and leg.”

 

It hurt, just a little to hear Ed speak that way, to just be so accepting of each drastic change that was thrown his way.

Maybe at this point he was just jaded.

 

The beginning seeds of an awkward silence had started, a statement like that from Ed wasn't something Roy knew how to respond to, but it turned out not to matter as the front door could be heard along with Alphonse's voice.

 

“This box was buried beneath all the rest, even though it's the most important!” He claimed, “Now, Edward,” Alphonse began as he carried the box into the living room, sitting it down on the coffee table that stood between Edward and the fireplace, “I'll be gone for only about a fortnight, okay?”

 

“I know, Al.” Ed coughed out, “I'll be fine here.”

 

“I know you're going to get the Rockbells to come help in the trial, but the train ride only takes a couple of days.” Roy interjected, “Why will you be gone so long?”

 

“Winry is making Edward's automail, but she has to try and find a way to keep the metal from sapping too much heat from him.” Alphonse responded, pulling out a small orange bottle from the box, and squinted at it, trying to read the label in the firelight. “Hold this,” Al held the pill bottle to Roy, who took it carefully. “She's been working on it for about a week already, but we're trying to give her time to do that and work on what she's going to be saying at court.” He held out a bottle of an off-white liquid and shook it gently.

Edward glared at the bottle.

“And it gives me time to rest between train rides.” Alphonse finished, handing the new bottle to Roy as well before pulling out two more. “Now watch me carefully.”

 

Alphonse proceeded to take out one of many needles. “Once a day brother needs an injection of thirty-five milliliters of that liquid, it's a multivitamin with electrolytes, with a _new_ needle from an _unopened_ bag. It's intramuscular, thanks to the doctor. It causes bruising, so it'd be hard to inject in the same vein everyday.”

Carefully, Alphonse uncapped the needle, and drew out the measured dose.

 

Edward was pointedly looking the other way as he held out his arm.

 

Alphonse took it in hand, and held the needle in place, before he gave an exasperated sigh. “Brother, relax. It'll only hurt more if you're tense.”

 

“Easy for you to say.” Edward muttered, “you're not the one who's about to be stabbed.”

 

Alphonse injected it without any further conversation, and the moment he withdrew the needle, he quickly re-bagged it and placed it into the empty box he'd brought in with it. Edward flinched back with a hiss, but he still allowed Al to place a bandage over the tiny puncture wound.

 

“Would you mind getting us a glass of water?” Al asked, taking the bottles back from Roy and placing them on the little table. “Edward can't take pills dry anymore.”

Roy came back quickly with the tallest glass he owned filled to the brim.

 

“That was the hard part.” Al told him, before he took one of the orange bottles, this one filled with big red tablets. “Iron.” He explained, uncapping it. “One a day.” He took out the tablet and gave it to Ed, who took it quietly. Al set the bottle back down and reached for the next one. “Antibiotic.” The same process was repeated for the next pill, which was a mild pain medicine, and the next which was for his fever. No matter how cold Edward got, the fever seemed to remain.

 

 

When it was time for Al to leave, he stood hesitantly in the doorway, his bag slung over his shoulder and his eyes fixed on Edward, who was sitting in his wheelchair next to Roy, waving bye. He'd had the wheelchair since the first visit to the hospital, but the apartment he'd shared with Al was truly too tiny to use it. But here, in Mustang's much larger home it would be necessary for Edward to traverse the lower floor to get from his place in the livingroom, to the kitchen across the hall and the bathroom further in.

 

“Are you sure everything will be okay here?” Al asked, still looking at his brother. “You know what medicines you need to take, and Mustang, you remember how to give him the shot?”

 

“Yes, Al.” Edward groaned. “And of course he does. You showed him every day for the past three days.”

 

“I remember,” Roy said anyway, “and everything will be just fine. Edward has the office number if he needs anything, he knows where the phone is, and I won't be leaving for work until ten tomorrow, and I'll be back by six.”

 

Alphonse nodded. He knew all that, but hearing it again helped some. “I'll call when I reach Risembool, and everyday I'm there, okay Ed?”

 

“Got it.” Edward said with a shiver. “I'm getting cold just sitting here, and you must be too. Head on down to the train.”

 

Alphonse bit his cheek, he really didn't want to leave Ed so soon. Especially not after that emergency trip to the hospital, and then moving house. But he didn't really have a choice.

“Okay.” Al said with a big sigh.

A horn honked behind him.

That would be Riza. She did say she'd drive him to the station, after all.

So he turned and made his way over the car.

Nothing would change while he was gone. It was only two weeks.

Everything would be just fine.

 

 

Not even a moment after Roy closed the door, there was a thud and a hissed _dammit_!

Turning, he saw that Ed had tried to maneuver the chair with his singe hand and had only just missed getting through the doorway back to the living room.

 

“Here, Ed.” Roy backed the chair up a bit, and let go again. “Try again. We'll get you used to this by the end of the day.”

 

“Don't even fuckin' need it.” Ed grumbled, “I don't know why I can't just use that fake leg I had.”

 

“That leg just caused you more trouble trying to walk than this will.” Roy said, exactly what Alphonse had said the day before. “And it'll only be for a while, you'll have your automail back soon.”

 

Edward shuddered. Roy decided not to ask.

 

“Try again, Edward.”

 

There was a muffled curse, but Ed did what he said, and tried again, much more carefully, to move the chair with only one hand. He rolled himself across the floor, only getting stuck once on the edge of the rug, before he just pushed on through until he made it to the couch, heaving himself out of the chair and letting himself plop down onto the couch with a huff.

 

Roy could do this.

He could watch Edward and keep him safe for a fortnight.

Nothing would go wrong.

What possibly could?


	10. Alligator Purr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay!  
> Story time for anyone who read the previous chapter 10.
> 
> I have really, really bad General Anxiety disorder, and recently I was given a medicine to take whenever I had a bad panic attack.  
> It made me, really, really loopy.  
> I wrote that last chapter while I was on the medicine, and I just don't know why.  
> It came out of nowhere and just leaving it up after the medicine wore off left me with even more anxiety.  
> Then, it wore off and now I'm sick as a dog.  
> So I just edited the old chapter a bit.  
> I hope this is better.

Roy was sitting in his study when he heard the crash.

Jolting up from his chair, he rushed to the living room to check on Ed, only to see that he wasn't there.

“Edward?” Roy called out, surely he wouldn’t have tried the stairs! There was nothing up there anyway.

 

“Kitchen.”

 

The groan had surely come from the kitchen, and when Roy entered, he saw Edward kneeling on the ground next to his overturned wheelchair, his hand resting on the bridge of his bleeding nose.

 

With a sigh, Roy got an old dishcloth from one of his drawers and handed it to Ed, who pressed it up to his nose.

 

“What did you think you were doing?” Roy asked him, “If you're hungry or thirsty all you had to do was come get me, or call.”

 

“Not it.” Edward said, his voice a little nasally. “I need my medicine.”

 

Roy glanced at the clock, and surely enough it was about time for the nightly doses of his medicine, both for pain and his fever.

“Why didn't you call?” Roy asked as he placed the chair back on its wheels, and helped Ed back into it, ignoring the few drops of blood that now stained his shirt.

 

“I can take some pills without help.” Edward tried to explain, still pressing the bloody cloth to his face. “I just can't reach the cabinet from the chair, and when I tried to stand it fell over.”

 

Roy got the two bottles down from the shelf, “Maybe I should leave them on the counter, at least if you're going to be getting them yourself.” Pulling out the correct doses, he set the pills on the counter and began to fill a glass with water.

 

Edward scoffed.

 

“Well, we're going to need to wait out that nosebleed if you're going to take this.” Roy took the cloth from Edward, and folded it over to a clean side.

A trickle of blood made it's way from Edward's nostril, so he placed it back, applying pressure.

 

“I can do it myself,” Edward struggled against Roy's hand, “Stop!”

 

“You were just holding it there. You need to put pressure on it to get it to stop.”

 

“I know that!” Edward jerked away, and used his own hand to hold the cloth.

 

The bleeding stopped after a few minutes, and Roy took the now soaked cloth and placed it in the sink.

 

“That thing had got to be ruined now.” Edward commented, a bit guiltily.

 

“Doesn't matter.” Roy said, “I've got a thousand of those things, and they're what I use if I ever get one.”

 

But instead of going for another cloth, he pulled a paper towel from it's roll, and wet it with the faucet before turning back to Ed. “Hold out your hand. We need to wipe the blood off.”

 

Ed held out his hand.

 

“You're a bit pale, but you didn't bleed that much.” Roy observed, but when he wiped at the blood, a bit of skin came off with the paper.

After a split second of panic, Roy realized what was happening as he looked down at the new spot of vivid color.

“You shed your skin?”

 

Edward nodded, looking at the back of his hand where the skin had come off. “It's never been that easy, though.”

 

“You never used water?” Roy asked, dabbing at the skin again, and Ed watched as bits of shed stuck to it.

 

“No, it didn't occur to me.” Ed said, a bit distracted. “How do you know to do that?”

 

“I kept a lizard when I was younger.” He answered, “Not for very long, my aunt didn't care for it, but whenever it needed to shed I'd put in a wet paper towel and it would shed really easily.”

 

“I think I'll need a bit more than one wet paper towel.” Ed commented, earning a small laugh.

 

“I'll go start a bath for you.” Roy got up and tossed the paper towel in the trash. “I just hope your shed doesn't clog the drain.”

 

“That is a complete possibility.” Edward told him.

 

Roy shrugged. “I'll risk it,” and Ed felt thankful.

 

Then he jumped, almost out of his old skin, as his wheelchair started moving. “I can get myself to the bathroom, jackass!”

 

“But this is much quicker, and can you get all your skin off with only one arm?”

 

Ed bit his lip. “No.”

 

“I didn't think so.”

 

Ed huffs a sigh and he gets pushed down the hall and through the open door. He leaves him by the sink as he bends down to start the water.

He turns it up to just bearable heat and lets the tub start to fill up.

 

“You need help getting yourself undressed?” Roy asks as he straightens up.

 

“Oh,” Ed looks down at himself. He's wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants that have one leg tied into a knot. “Probably not.”

 

Ed squirms in his chair and pulls the shirt off, and lets it drop down onto the floor, where Roy picks it up with a sigh. He folds it up and places it on the counter by the sink.

 

Edward hesitates. He's not wearing anything underneath his sweatpants. “I don't need any help yet.”

 

Roy raises an eyebrow. “Are you embarrassed?”

 

Edward glares at him for a moment, but he's really not up for being a brat. He's itchy and tired, and he'll have a hell of a time getting all the skin from his back and arm. He strips off his pants with a sigh, and pretends to not notice Mustang looking, even if it was just for a moment.

 

“You really are covered in scales, aren't you?” Mustang asks, but he's only looking at Edward's stomach, which is covered in ventral scales.

 

“Yeah,” Edward says, his embarrassment temporarily forgotten. The only part of him was, well… Was not something he was just going to out and say. “Can you help me into the bath?”

 

Roy blinks like he actually forgot the reason the two of them were standing around like idiots in a bathroom.

“Of course.” He says, and soon enough Edward is sitting in the half-full tub with the faucet pouring over his shoulder where the automail used to be.

 

“You're buzzing.”

Ed's eyes snap open and he realizes that he is making some kind of noise that leaves a vibrating feeling in his throat.

He tries to stop, but he really can't.

 

“It's like purring.” Roy says as he fetches a sponge from by the sink. “You must really like the water, then. Turn around.”

 

Ed turns his back willingly to hide the flush on his cheeks, and once more tries to stop the noise, but once he feels the sponge on his back brushing away the old scales it only increases in volume.

 

“What kind of lizard did he fuse you with to make that sound?” Roy asked, “If you don't mind answering.”

 

Edward sighed and relaxed, just allowing the odd purr-like sound to continue. “A lot, actually.” Edward began. “There was a monitor lizard, a chameleon, a blue-tongue skink, a couple of geckos, a Gila monster and an alligator.”

 

“That...” Roy didn't know what to say. “Wow.”

 

He actually sounded impressed. Not disgusted or affronted.

 

“I'd say it's an alligator that makes this noise.” Edward said, trying to ignore how happy that fact made him feel. Whenever anyone else heard what had happened to Ed they acted like it was horrible, like it was something that should be fixed.

That was impossible, but Roy just seemed to accept it.

 

“Why's that?” Roy asked.

 

“When I was looking for the stone, Al and I ended up at a River town, and there were a bunch out basking on the rocks. The babies were chirping, and a couple of the adults were making this weird rumbling sound. The locals said that meant they were happy.”

 

“Alligator it is, then.” Roy said, “...and there. Your back is done.”

 

Edward flinched when he felt something other than the sponge touch him. Roy's fingers were moving around one of his large circular scales. “You're actually quite stunning.” Roy said. “The scales and the tail, it's quite amazing.”

 

Ed turns his head, and looks him in the eye. His face is red, Edward can feel it, but so is Roy's. It was probably the steam.

 

Ed looked around again, and raised his hand to start picking at the skin on his face.

 

But Roy wasn't finished. The sponge found it's way to Ed's arm, and the skin rolled away easily. “You were stunning to look at before, too.” Roy said, “I didn't mean to imply that you weren't, or that this was what made you-”

 

“That's okay.” Ed said, letting his hand drop down. His face was clean, but there was still skin on his scalp and tail. He started peeling back the skin on his tail, “That should be everything I need help with,” Ed said, but then the bastard put his hands in his hair, parting it and looking.

 

“You've got a lot of skin built up in your hair.” He said, “There's a comb in one of these drawers.”

 

Ed moved his tail between his legs as Mustang kept combing his hair. The rumbling sound he was making only seemed to grow in volume.

Roy rinsed out Edward's hair and moved back.

“You're done.”

 

Ed drummed his fingers on his knee, looking down into the shed-laden water. “I don't think this is all going to drain.”

 

Roy still reached into the water, making Ed grimace, and pulled the plug from the drain. “That doesn't matter, I'll clean it up after we get you dried off and warmed up.”

 

Ed glanced over his shoulder, Roy was holding out a hand. “I should clean it, it's my skin.”

 

Edward took it and let himself be pulled to his foot, and he let Roy wrap one towel around his shoulders.

 

“Will you need help drying off?” Roy asked, and Ed realized that he was only asking to give him the illusion of choice, part of Ed was furious. Of course he needed help, and he hated that, but he was also thankful, so he nodded.

 

It wasn't too hard to accept Mustang's help. He was kind about it, much kinder than he seemed when they were in the office, or if they had met on the street.

 _Maybe he really is kind_ , Edward thought as he drifted off to sleep.


	11. Morning Bask

Cleaning old, wet skin out of his tub was not easy, Roy found as he tried to gather it all into one big clump to toss out.

How often did Edward shed? Monthly? Bi-monthly? Dear lord, he hoped this wouldn't be weekly.

He tossed clump after clump into a large garbage bag, but even after wiping the tub down twice, there was still a scale or two stuck to the sides.

They'd probably be there for a while.

Roy stood and peeled off the latex gloves and tossed them into the trash as well.

 

Taking the trash out the end of his drive found a strange sight.

Edward was spread out on the grass in a sunny spot, his wheelchair abandoned nearby.

How he got there was a mystery.

 

Roy made his way over to Edward and sat down on the grass next to him. Edward had his eyes closed, but his hand lifted in acknowledgment. “'s warm out here.”

 

He was right, even with winter approaching, sitting in the little beam of sunlight was nice. Summertime-like heat shone across the both of them, and if Roy was enjoying it, it must be heaven for Edward.

 

“Natural light works so much better.” Edward said, turning over on his stomach to warm up his backside, “The fire is nice, and so are hot meals, but this is just so much better.”

 

“That's probably because of the vitamin D.” Roy said, lying down next to Edward, who had opened his reptilian eyes and trained them on him. “More to benefit from the light than just heat.”

 

Edward made an approving noise, “'m getting hungry, though.”

 

“I need to get to the store.” Roy said, “there isn't a whole lot in my icebox, but I could make us a couple of sandwiches.”

 

“Sounds good.” Edward propped himself up on his one arm, “can we eat out here?”

 

Roy smiled, “You want to have a picnic in my front yard?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Well, I don't see why we can't.” Roy said, standing up. He offered a hand to Edward. “Come on in for a moment, tell me what you want on the sandwich.”

 

Together they managed to get Edward back in his chair and somehow made it through the front door, and once more Roy wondered how Edward had managed it on his own.

One of the chairs at the table had been moved out of the way to make a place for Edward's wheelchair.

Edward leaned on the table and let his tail rest on the tile floor, swishing from side to side aimlessly.

“How many days has it been?” Edward asked, “it's hard to tell the days apart like this. They're all almost the same.”

 

Roy felt a little guilty. Edward had been stuck indoors with nothing to do for months now. With his appearance, not to mention the trial, they couldn't really take him out to do anything, either.

“Just three.” Roy said, “it's Sunday.”

 

“That explains why you're home.” Edward said.

 

“Did you just think I'd skipped work?”

 

“Nah,” Edward leaned back in his chair, “Hawkeye wouldn't let you do that.”

 

“My point exactly.” Mustang joked, pulling out everything he needed to make their lunch. “Do you like mustard?”

 

“Don't mind it.” Edward said, “but no mayonnaise.”

 

“That's good.” Roy commented, “considering I do not have any.”

 

“Hm.” Edward hummed, resting his chin on the table.

 

Roy set down a plate piled with small sandwiches, partly because he knew Ed would eat more than one, and partly because the smaller ones would be much easier for Edward to handle with only one hand.

What Roy expected was for Ed to take one and eat it in startlingly few bites, but what he wasn't expecting was for him to take a large bite, make a startled noise, and take it out of his mouth, just to see a few sharpened teeth stuck in the bread.

 

Roy would deny shrieking.

 

But Ed only looked at it for a moment before plucking them out and setting them down on the table before he calmly continued eating, as if three teeth hadn't just fallen from his head.

But he had spared the time to smirk at Roy's terror.

 

“Does that happen often?” Roy asked, wondering if he was still hungry.

 

 

“Eh, not really.” Edward shrugged, biting into his sandwich and not leaving any teeth this time. “My body's constantly making new teeth now, so I'll lose one or two her and there. Maybe I should keep them. Make a necklace.”

 

“Right.” Roy said, still a little shocked.

 

“Does it scare you?” Edward asked, shrinking in on himself, “Alphonse screamed when he saw it, and he thought I had some kind of skin-eating disease when I started shedding, and he won't look me in the eye, really.”

 

“It doesn't scare me.” Roy promised.

 

“Really?” Edward set down what was left of his third sandwich. “The doctors acted like they thought I would bite them, and before they did any examinations they capped my claws. It seems like everyone is a little bit scared of me.” He sounded miserable. “I guess this is how Al felt when he was in the armor.”

 

“Ed, no.” Roy reached across the table and took Ed's hand in his own two. “I can't say anything about the doctors, or people who see you from the street, but Al isn't afraid of you, he's afraid _for_ you. I am, too.” He explained, “we're living in a world where anything different is something to be afraid of, and as terrible as that is, there's nothing to be done. We still care about you, and we're doing everything we can to make this less of a bad thing. You're still Edward Elric, still the People's Alchemist. Even if you've got a bit of lizard in you.”

 

“It's not just 'a bit.'” Edward said, looking down. “I've got scales, I'm practically green, I've got a fucking _tail_.” Edward took his hand back and gestured at his lost teeth, “my teeth fall out and regrow constantly, and they will until I die!”

 

“And you're still a person.” Roy said moving over to where Ed sat, turning his chair around and kneeling down to look him in the eye. “Whatever these people think, these people that Al and I are fighting for you, these people that everyone you know are fighting, you're still human, tail or no tail.”

 

Edward was crying now, tears welling in his eyes to trail down his cheeks.

 

“What about Darius? Heinkel? Do you think they're less than human because they're part gorilla and lion? You're the same, just part lizard.”

 

Edward brought his arm up to wipe at his eyes.

 

“You can still talk, and think, and when you get your automail you'll be able to walk. You can cry, too. You're just as human as me.”

 

Edward gave a little grin through his tears. “That's not reassuring. You're a politician.”

 

“Maybe we're both a little less then.” Roy smiled back. “But that doesn’t matter.” With a glance out the window, he saw the patch of light was still there, even though it had moved slightly. “We've still got some food left. Want to go have it outside in the sun?”

 

Edward nodded and sniffed. “Yeah. That'd be good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any delays, I'm getting ready for my first year of college and things are being a hassle.


	12. Overabundance

When Roy walked into his office the next morning, he found six pairs of eyes all on him. It seemed as though Armstrong was going to be spending the morning there.

“What?” Roy asked, and it was Armstrong who spoke up, jovial as he always seemed to be.

 

“Oh, Colonel, I was just coming to inquire about Edward Elric's condition. I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting with him, and I'm quite concerned for his well being with young Alphonse out of town.”

 

“We'd like an update on him, as well.” Hawkeye spoke up from her desk, where she seemed to be sorting out that day's work. “Alphonse used to call daily, and we would all go and see him, but since he was in the hospital, I'm afraid both routines have fallen to the wayside.”

 

“He's getting much better,” Roy began slowly, “physically, but he seems to be under the impression that we find him… foul.”

 

“Foul?” Armstrong asked, “because of his appearance, I assume?”

 

“Yes,” Roy confirmed, “but he is getting past it, bit by bit.”

 

“May I invite myself to come and visit him at some point?” Armstrong asked, clasping his hands together. “Would he be well enough for that?”

 

Roy thought to the previous day, when Ed had broken down over his appearance. Would it be beneficial or detrimental for a visit?

If they all reassured him they felt no different, and had no negative thoughts of him, it could help.

“Lieutenant,” Roy turned his head to meet Riza's eyes. “I think it would be a good idea for everyone to come visit. It won't be long before Ed is able to go back out into the world, but spending so long cooped up with only Al and I for company can't be good.”

 

Riza gave a small smile, and turned back to her piles of paperwork, requests, and schedules. “I think,” she began, “that if everyone works diligently today that we could all leave a bit early, give Edward a nice surprise.”

 

“Who has the least amount of work to do today?” Roy asked, looking over the piles, “I don't have much in terms of food at my home now, and I could send them out for just a bit.”

 

Armstrong offered immediately, but at once Roy imagined the piles of snack food the large man would show up with, he declined politely, and told Breda that it would be up to him.

“No alcohol, and not too many sweets.” Roy instructed, “and no tobacco is to be smoked at any place in my home, Ed's still recovering from that respiratory problem he had.”

 

Breda grinned over at Havoc, who sighed and went ahead and lit a second cigarette. “I'll get my fix in now, then.”

 

“Go as soon as you finish your work, and no sooner.” Roy told him before settling down at his own desk, sending Armstrong off with instructions to show up around seven that evening.

 

Hopefully, all would go well.

 

 

And so far, it has.

 

Edward had been busy stuffing his face full of potato chips, and he'd chugged down at least one glass of soda, but he was smiling.

 

So far the worst thing that had happened was Havoc deciding it would be a good idea to sneak up and scare Ed, but that only resulted in a whipping tail and a new red mark across Jean's face.

“I didn't even know he could do that.” Jean whined as he sat down next to Roy, gingerly touching his cheek.

 

“And you wouldn't have if you hadn't done something so stupid.” But Roy didn't get any further as he saw Ed trying to make his way over to them. It looked hard, trying to keep himself rolling straight with only one arm available to turn and propel himself across the floor.

 

Roy started to move to help, but Havoc stopped him with a hand on his arm, “I hated having people help me when I was in my chair. Ed probably hates it even more, let him do this.”

 

Roy didn't want to sit and watch Ed struggle, but he did what he said, and waited for Ed to make his way over to them.

He was breathing hard, but he was still smiling as he scooted up to the table edge.

 

“Sorry.” Havoc said simply, not bothering to elaborate.

 

Ed shrugged, “that's okay, I didn't even know I could do that before.”

 

Roy smiled, “It was quite the entertaining sight.”

 

“I'm going to have a bruise.” Jean whined again.

 

“And you will not be the only person on base that Fullmetal has ever bruised.” Roy took his empty cup and stood, “do you want anything, Edward? I'm going to refill my glass, but if you're hungry I'll get something for you.” Breda had really overdone everything. Instead of just going by a corner store and buying cheap snacks, he had gone to three separate restaurants and gotten platters of food. Roasted red potatoes covered in melting cheese and garlic, olives and mushrooms stuffed with grilled meats, deviled eggs, which were almost all gone, large buttery and flaky bread rolls, two different fruit jellos, and a large strawberry and chocolate cake that everyone seemed to be saving for last, and that was just what was stuffed onto the dining table.

 

“Yeah, some of whatever kinds of meat is up there.” Ed said, leaning back in his chair. “I haven't had this kind of stuff in forever.”

 

When Roy made it up to the table, he began taking forkfuls of pretty much everything, and piled it all onto the biggest plate he owned.

Breda was up there, with a plate of his own, and apparently where a lot of the olives had gone. “Ed's looking much better.”

 

Roy paused.

 

“When we got him he almost couldn't speak at all, and he was so sick, I thought he was going to die.”

 

“So did I.” Roy agreed, “but he's getting better everyday now, and soon he'll have his automail back. There'll be no stopping him then.”

 

Breda was looking at him with a guarded expression. “It won't be like that, sir.”

 

“No?”

 

“He doesn't have the ports, or whatever they're called anymore. He's going to need the surgery again, and that's got a long recovery period, and we don't know how his new body is going to react to it. He's going to get worse before he gets better.”

 

Roy stopped piling food on the plate. “He's going to be here for a while.”

 

“Yeah, 's why I went all out with the food, last hurrah for a bit, at least for him, yeah?” Breda took another serving of one of the jellos. “By the way, you'll reimburse me for all this, right?”

 

Roy reluctantly agreed to pay for the overabundance of food, but all the left overs would probably be in his icebox, so at least he had meals ready for the next couple of days.

Setting the plate down on the table where Ed and Jean sat talking, they both stopped at stared at the pile of food.

 

“I don't think I can eat all that.” Ed said with wide eyes, but a sharp-fanged grin took over his face, “I'll try, though!”

 

The party came to a close at about midnight, with Riza being the last one there. Ed was dozing on the couch, his blanket pulled up around his shoulders while he blinked lazily at the fire in the grate.

 

Riza was looking over at him with a smile, “he's looking so much better.”

 

Roy followed her line of sight in time to see Ed truly fall asleep with a big sigh, and his tail falling off the side of the couch.

 

“How's the trial going?” Roy asked, “are people still complaining about his venom?”

 

“It's getting much closer to an end.” Riza said, avoiding specifics. “The Gila monster is relatively harmless, and Ed's venom is much less potent, getting bitten by him, like that would even happen, wouldn't be anything to be worried about.”

 

“Take care of him, Roy.”

 

 


	13. A Day in the Park, and Two Steps Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters may be a little less often than normal, I'm having problems getting ready for my first semester of college, I hope you all understand!

The next couple of days had been much easier, on both Roy and Edward.

With the people in the office seeing Ed happy, or at least trying at their little party, quite a bit of tension had left.

With Edward spending hours amongst people other than Roy and Al, he seemed just a bit brighter, and with not a word said about his appearance, he felt more comfortable in his scales.

 

With his new confidence, Edward began to speak in earnest voices, about anything and everything.

Responses were coming easily, and starting conversation, or even asking for something he needed became much easier.

 

“Do you have any fiction books?” Edward asked Mustang one night, just as he was coming in the door after a day of work.

 

“A few.” Mustang answered as he took off his coat and left it on his coat rack, stepping into his living room, where Edward had been living for almost a week and a half now. “I didn't take you as someone who would have time for fiction.”

 

Edward lashed his tail out with a scoff. “Normally, I don't.”

 

“Then why now?”

 

Edward raised an eyebrow at him, “Seriously? I'm stuck inside for months, and I've probably read any alchemical or other scientific literature you have.”

 

Roy wasn't entirely sure that was true, but some books he wasn't quite willing to lend to a clawed hand, or anyone for that matter.

 

“I have some fiction, quite a lot, actually.” Mustang told him, getting ready to head upstairs to his own room, and his own personal bookcase. “Some people read for leisure, not just to learn.”

 

There wasn't a response as Roy climbed his stairs, ready to fetch a few books. Some of his more uplifting ones.

But would Ed be amused by pointless fluff in his books? Roy shifted through the three shelves stuffed full of novels of varying size, and settled on some of his newer books, an emerging author by the name of Agatha Christie. She wrote mysteries, right? Ed would enjoy those.

He pulled down _The Mysterious Affair at Styles_ and _The Secret Adversary_. Those two should keep Ed busy for the night, at least. He'd bring down a couple more for when he went back into work tomorrow.

It had to be terribly boring, being stuck in the house all day, not of choice or even illness, but because the public was so disgusted by you.

 

Maybe the books would cheer him up some.

 

Ed took the books readily, hardly even looking over the covers before they were open and he was wrapped up in the first few pages.

 

Even so, Mustang still felt bad as he watched Ed read for just a moment, the tip of his tail, twitching much like an upset cat as he focused on the printed words.

 

For a moment, Mustang wanted to take him in to the office with him tomorrow, just to get a little bit of a change in scenery, but not a lot of military personnel would want to see him being wheeled around the base, even if most of his staff would.

Edward was still under a sort-of house arrest, more because the law was watching his every move more than actually being ordered to stay inside.

Al didn't want to risk Edward so much as scaring a small child in case those against him found some way to twist it in their favor, but thinking back on his own childhood, Roy decided to take Ed outside that weekend. Saturday was only two days away, and he could find something to do and somewhere to take Ed by then.

 

The park, Mustang decided the next day as he elected to walk home. It was one of the last warm days of the year, but the vendors had swapped their ice cream carts and their hot dog stands for roasted nuts and piping hot potato wedges. Even if Ed got a bit cold, there would be carts of hot foods and drinks to help warm him back up.

The park was huge, with tall trees with falling leaves, a deep pond filled with giant released pet goldfish, turtles and ducks.

There was a playground too, but he'd be sure to steer clear of it.

It might just be what Edward needed, a trip outside in the sun.

 

Convincing him of it may be a bit of a challenge, however.

 

The morning of the promised Saturday dawned somewhat warm, and very bright.

 

But Edward, once again woke cold to the dying embers of a fire and with a chilly blanket wrapped around him.

 

Mustang quickly restocked the hearth with wood, and let a large fire start up as he let oatmeal begin to cook in the kitchen.

 

“I was thinking,” Mustang began as he handed the grumpy lizard on his couch a big bowl of oatmeal covered in brown sugar. “You need to get outside more, get some sunlight and stretch your-”

 

Ed raised one eyebrow at him.

 

“Just to get outside and get some fresh air.” Mustang finished, looking away. “There's a park nearby, a big one, and I thought I could take you there today.”

 

Edward paused with his spoon halfway to his mouth. Setting it down back into the bowl, and grimacing when the entire thing fell into the gooey mess that oatmeal is, sighed. “I don't know.” He said, picking at a particularly large scale on his knee, “It's Saturday, right?” At Roy's nod he continued, “Parents will be taking their kids out, and I don't want to scare them. Oh, and it's nearly November, isn't it cold?”

 

The way Ed added the last question made him sound like he was making excuses. “It's actually quite nice outside.” Roy told him, “and it's very sunny.”

 

Edward hesitated again, then picked at the black boxers he was wearing. “I don't really have any clothes.”

 

He was right, staying inside all the time all he wore was tank tops, sweat pants and the occasional nightshirt when the pants would bother his tail.

 

“I'm sure I have something that will fit you.” Roy said, “A warmer shirt, at least. Your lounge-pants will be just fine, but you'll be wanting something just a bit warmer for a shirt.”

 

“And shoes?”

 

Edward didn't have any. Not any that he could fit around his claws.

 

“I think, that you won't be needing any.” Mustang said as he got up to go find Edward a sweater.

 

Edward looked skeptical, but he didn't say anything to discourage Roy.

 

And soon enough Edward was situated in his wheelchair, with a deep burgundy sweater on, one sleeve hanging empty. His black pants almost looked like trousers as Roy tied off the left leg.

 

Edward was looking nervous, his hand holding tight to the armrest to the point that his knuckles were turning white.

 

He'd be feeling better when they actually arrived, Roy decided as he pulled on his own black jacket and pushed Edward out the front door and down the street.

 

“We'll need to take you shopping, soon.” Mustang said as they made their way down the sidewalk, trying to distract Ed from any glances from the few passersby, “You'll be needing to replace most of your pants, maybe we'll find a way to alchemize a hole for something for your tail,” Edward drew his tail in close at the mention of it, trying to hide the massive thing from view unsuccessfully. “But I think we'll only need to go a size or so up for your shoes.”

 

Edward shrugged, looking up at the sky.

 

Mustang frowned, he wanted this to be therapeutic for Ed, but he didn't seem willing to give it a chance, that, or he really was just too nervous for it.

 

A bit of the walk was spent in silence, while the rest was spent with Mustang's mostly one-sided conversation.

 

“We can go get lunch somewhere,” Mustang offered, “There's a great Xingese place just a block away from the park, and in the other direction there's a nice little cafe.”

 

“Wherever is least crowded.” Edward mumbled, holding onto his right side with his left arm, “How long are we going to be out?”

 

Mustang frowned. “Not too long, Ed.” He lied, hoping that Edward would warm up to the outdoors as they stayed out. “But you really do need some sunlight.”

 

“I can get that in your yard.” Edward complained, thinking about the sunlight-warmed grass in the fenced in-yard where the neighbors couldn't see him due to the shrubs planted on either side of the house, and the tall white fence around the perimeter.

 

Mustang didn't reply as the crossed the empty street and moved onto the cobblestone pathway that led down to the pond.

 

Edward perked up a bit as he watched the red and brown leaves falling to the ground. “I missed all this last year.” He pointed out, relaxing just a bit, just enough to see a bit of it leave his shoulders. “I thought about it a lot.”

 

Roy looked up at the leaves with Edward. “I don't think any of us really stopped to appreciate it. We were looking for you all year, and then when the cold weather came, we started to think that you were dead.”

 

“I'm sorry.” Edward said dropping his head to look at the ground in front of him.

 

“It wasn't your fault, Edward.” Mustang took a hand from the wheelchair's handle and gave Edward's good shoulder a squeeze. “The only regret I have is that Eustace is dead, and that I can't send him to prison.”

 

“I'm glad he's dead.” Edward said, moving his hand from his side to his missing arm. “Every day in the cellar I thought I was going to die. I thought he was going to kill me and cremate me along with the failed chimeras.”

 

Roy didn't speak as they reached the edge of the pond. Roy turned off of the path and found a bench. He let Edward's chair come to a stop next to it before he sat down in it, looking out over the pond and at the leaves floating on it's surface.

 

“I never thought I'd see the sky again, or anyone. Not Al, or Winry, Granny, anyone at the office, or even you. I missed everyone.”

 

“We missed you, too Edward.” Mustang said, picking up a pebble from the ground and looking over it's smooth surface. “We got the call that you were nowhere on the train, and no one could find you at the station in Central or in Risembool, we really panicked. We thought that gate had decided to take you, then there were reports of a second missing passenger, we knew you were kidnapped.”

 

“Why couldn't you find me?” Edward asked, watching as Roy skipped the pebble across the surface of the still pond. It only skipped once, but he didn't mention it. “To know I was here the whole time, I was right under your feet.”

 

Roy swallowed hard, Ed was right. They should've found him sooner.

“We looked everywhere we thought to. I had people all over the country looking for you, listening to rumors, following every lead they could, but Eustace covered his tracks. His behaviors were not unusual, especially not for a bio-alchemist. He just wasn't a suspect. He was kind, or he at least pretended to be.”

 

Edward sighed heavily, “It's not your fault you didn't find me sooner, I just wish that you had.”

 

Anything else Edward had to say was cut short by a couple walking down the same path they did, but with three kids with them. Three young kids, no older than six or seven, skipping down the pathway, chatting about meaningless this or that.

 

And it was scaring Edward.

 

“Move me.” Edward said quickly, “We can find another bench, we need to move-”

 

“Look!” Edward flinched as one of the children called out. Roy glanced over to see the family a couple of yards away, and with a little brown-haired boy pointing straight at them. The child was told to stop, but not anything close to quickly as even the adults stared for a moment before coming back to their senses. Edward was hunching himself over, and the tip of his tail was lashing uncomfortably.

 

Mustang was hesitant to move, the children had been quieted, and- he heard the mutterings. They were all talking under their breath, and when he glanced over he caught the eye of the mother, who blanched and looked away.

Maybe they should move, at least if the family wasn't willing to. If he could make out muttering, then Ed would surely be able to make out complete words.

He felt a bit shameful as he took Edward's wheelchair and pulled it away from the shore.

Some spite shone through the embarrassment, and instead of going in the opposite direction of the family, Roy let go of Ed's wheelchair and made his own way over to the family.

 

“It's rude to stare.” He said firmly, employing the 'Colonel Voice' as his subordinates so eloquently called it.

 

The children had the mind to look ashamed, but the father spoke up. “How could they not?”

 

“With proper rearing and lessons, perhaps.” Roy insulted the man, not exactly caring about how this would affect the trial, given time.

 

The man snarled at him, but before he could speak, Roy did.

“My friend here has been the victim of a crazed alchemist, and he hasn't been out of his home for months because of his appearance. I've convinced him to come outside, and if you ruin this simple pleasure for him be sure that it will not end well for you.”

 

“Yeah?” The rude, perhaps childish, man challenged. “And who are you?”

 

Roy smiled. “I hoped you would ask. I am Colonel Roy Mustang of the Amestrian Military and this is Edward Elric, formerly the Fullmetal Alchemist.”

 

“Honey,” the woman warned with a hand on the man's arm, “Please, let's just find a different place to sit.”

 

“No need.” Roy said firmly, “We will be leaving. As rude as you have been with your looks and words, Edward is far too kind for his own good. We'll be leaving this space for you.”

 

The man said nothing, but he got an apologetic look from the woman.

 

Perhaps it was time for them to get lunch, and maybe Ed was right, that they needed to find a more secluded place to eat.

 

“You didn't have to confront them.” Edward told him as they got settled down at and outdoor table at the smallest Cafe Roy could find.

Edward had ordered himself a minestrone soup and a side of warm bread rolls, while Roy treated himself to the same.

An odd feeling had begun to creep along Mustang's spine as the day went on, and by now it had become much more pronounced.

“Of course I did.” Mustang smiled at the somewhat concerned waitress who brought out their food along with a hot pot of coffee. “No one should be ridiculed for how they look, especially when they cannot help it.

 

Roy started to feel bad as they worked their way through the two large bowls of soup. He had intended for Edward to have a nice day out, but it seemed that a single family had ruined it.

 

Then the door to the patio opened, and Edward's face fell.

 

A couple walked out and chose a table not far from them for the both of them and their two kids, who seemed to be around ten or eleven.

 

“I should have brought a scarf.” Edward said ducking his head down. “Covered my face, or worn a skirt or something.”

 

“A skirt, Edward?”

 

“To hide the tail, jackass!” Edward hissed, and that at last seemed to get the other patron's attention.

 

The parents looked over with a surprised expression, but the children looked in awe as they openly stared at Edward.

 

The parents didn't correct their kids behavior right away, but the father came up to them, “The kids,” he gesured to the little boy and girl, really love your costume. They think it's real, and-” The man saw the tail move, and he realized that his kids had been correct, “Oh, oh, my, I'm sorry, it's just that-”

 

“It's alright,” Edward said, a bit nervous about the lack of disgust, and a bit giddy about it at the same time. He looked over at the kids and grinned, showing his sharp white teeth.

 

“Oh, well,” The man fumbled, “They are obsessed with stories about dragons and things of the sort, and they're about to grow out of believing in such things, I was wondering, if it isn't too much trouble, could you tell them you're a dragon or something?”

 

Edward was smiling, “I'd love to.” Ed was so excited he hardly waited for Roy to push him over to the other table before he started some on-the-spot story about being a dragon from across the ocean who lost his arm and leg in a fight for a princess. When the kids looked a bit frightened, Ed added in that he was a 'good dragon' and that he was fighting to free her from another. He smiled and talked animatedly, the most Roy had seen in a long while.

 

“He's the Fullmetal Alchemist, isn't he?” The man said, offering Roy his hand. Roy took it and smiled, “He is.”

 

The man introduced himself and Alan and gave him a smile. “We'd heard about the poor man, but we haven't seen any pictures. I hardly expected him to look like this.”

 

“It's a bit shocking the first time.” Roy confessed, “But he's still a good person, he'd never do a thing to harm anyone-” Roy realized his lie, Ed was a soldier, “Anyone innocent.”

 

“No,” Alan said, watching Ed telling his story, “I didn't think he would. Is there any way for me to come into the trial and speak up for him?”

 

“Really?” Roy asked, tearing his gaze away from Ed to look Alan in the eye.

 

“He's telling my kids a story about fighting a dragon to save a princess.” Alan smiled, “and with the way his trial is going, I'd say he could use the help.”

 

Roy gave the man a genuine smile and gave him the information needed to help. The two sat down and watched Edward talk to and play with the children, reciting tale after tale as the two ordered ice cream and Alan offered to buy one for Ed as the mother looked on with a smile.

 

Mustang declined, but ordered Ed a hot cobbler, just so he wouldn't be completely left out.

 

And when the went home, Ed really did seem better than he did that morning.

 

Later that night Mustang realized as he lay down to sleep that night what the odd feeling was. He had felt like he was on a date.

That wasn't too odd, but what worried him as he thought back to the day, focusing on Ed's animated smile, is that he had wanted it to be a date.


	14. Not Alone

Roy didn't change his behavior after his little revelation that night, choosing instead to pretend it never happened, and that his suddenly realized feeling of attraction didn't exist.

How could he do anything else? Edward was half his age, and not to mention in a very, very fragile situation at the moment.

 

Or in reality, he tried not to change, and it was painful the way he went through the motions, trying to feign an easy feeling of a growing friendship with Edward.

Normally he was so good at this, pretending to be something he isn't, but never before had he really been in this situation.

So he came off as awkward and distant, and Ed picked up on it almost immediately.

 

As for an explanation, though, Edward had none. Not a concrete one, at least. Maybe he was tired, maybe work was just really rough, or maybe the trial was going in the wrong direction.

But Edward would find out just a few short days later, only five more until it was time for Al to come home.

 

It happened shortly after one in the morning, Edward waking with a scream on the couch, jolting upright so quickly that he slipped off of his temporary bed, landing with a thud on the ground and wincing at the hardwood floor squishing his tail up against him. Ed turned to his side, leaning on the couch as he began to tremble as his panic attack began to grow.

That damned dream.

 

“Ed!” Roy was half-asleep and practically running down the stairs, dressed only in a oversized tee and a pair of boxers, along with a single glove on his hand, ready to snap and ignite any home intruders.

When he found none, he let his hand drop, and brought his ungloved hand up to wipe at his eyes. “Edward?” He asked as he turned, but before he even asked his question he got his answer as he saw Ed huddled on the ground, trembling like a leaf, staring up at Roy with tears prickling in the corners of his eyes and his one hand holding tightly to his shoulder.

 

Slowly, Roy came closer, stooping down to scoop Ed up into his arms and to sit them both down onto the couch. Without a word, Edward pressed his face into Roy's chest and let his tears begin to fall.

 

“What did you dream about?” Roy asked, tightening his hold on the boy who sat in his lap, trying to hold in sobs of terror. “Was is the transmutation? Or was it-”

 

“He cut off my automail ports.” The words were slurred together through the tears and choking sounds. “He took a _saw, and cut them off_.” Edward's tail tip was buzzing, vibrating against the couch cushions, making a sound Roy knew was meant to be a warning, but he held tight to Ed anyway.

 

But what Ed said… It explained why he was holding on to his shoulder.

 

But the thought of a saw cutting through Edward's flesh, not stopping even as it hit bone, as it hit the metal of the automail inside him, the metal that read the nerves and sent reading from the mind to the prosthetic… Roy felt sick, very sick.

 

“I was awake.” Ed continued on, moving his hand from his shoulder to bunch in Roy's shirt, “I felt every notch in that saw, and even when it would get caught,” Edward shivered at the memory, “he just kept going! I was screaming, and I thought the pain would kill me, I thought I would have a heart attack, or something, but I didn't even go unconscious. I kept waiting, and waiting for that to happen but-”

Ed shook his head, but felt himself calming down as he was held. The warmth of the grip kept him from slipping right back into that filthy basement, and the hand that was now running through his hair calmed the attack, and soon enough the tight fear in Ed's chest started to ebb away.

Roy continued to stroke Ed's hair, while his other arm held him close as he cried. Roy was shushing him, muttering calming words as he cried.

He knew all too well what it was like, waking from a painful memory.

But maybe, not one of this level of physical pain.

 

“Eustace is dead, isn't he? He's really dead?” Ed asked, “I'm always scared now, when I'm alone. I'm afraid he's going to come back for me, and I can't fight back. I can't fight back, not without my arm and leg, not now.”

 

“He's dead, Edward. He's dead and he's buried. His grave is at a small cemetery across town. We can go there, if you'd like, so you can see.”

 

Ed shook his head. “No, I don't want to.”

 

“Then we don't have to.” Roy told him, bringing Ed in closer and resting his chin on Ed's head. “We don't have to go anywhere you don't want to. Edward's skin was cold against Roy's own, and the fire in the grate had gone out long ago, leaving only embers left to glow dimly in the ash.

 

Edward didn't say anything more as he pulled his head back, tilting it up so he could look Roy in the eye.

He was still trembling, just a bit, but the tears that trailed down his cheeks were silent now, and his voice was much stronger, much clearer as he asked the question he had wanted to for days now.

“Ever since the day at the park, you've been avoiding me. You give me my medicine and you make breakfast, but you don't talk to me anymore.”

 

Roy still had a hand on the back of Ed's head, and the other had moved from Ed's back to his hip.

Would it be best to tell the truth?

 

“I've known you for years now, Edward.” Roy began, looking him in the eye, their heads a mere foot away from each other, “and I don't know how long this has been, a month, a year, longer or if it was just that day, but that day at the park, it felt like I was on a date with you.”

 

Ed said nothing, but looked straight on, his eyes locked onto Roy's.

 

“That wasn't too odd, it was something a couple might do, go to the park, and have lunch, but when we came back, I, I realized that I had _wanted_ it to be a date. I don't know what they are, but I have some kind of feelings for you, and I don't know where they've come from or how they're going to grow.”

Roy waited, somewhat terrified as Ed blinked slowly at him, then sighed, leaning in to press his lips, his attmitedly cold, scaley lips against Roy's, who hugged Ed tighter once more, about to take the kiss further when Edward pulled back.

 

“Stay down here with me?” Ed asked, “I don't want to be alone.”

 

Roy only smiled, and lay down with Ed, covering the both of them with the blanket as he continued to stroke his hand through Edward's hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O-kay short chapter.  
> I've been incredibly busy, and I have had a very stressful week, so this might not be on par with the last few chapters. If it's really bad, please tell me and I'll rewrite it later.  
> Also
> 
> I have a tumblr!  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/quicksilver7773  
> I post art for my fics, and there is a piece up for this one!  
> Right now everything is just a quick sketch, but I'd really appreciate if you'd go check them out!  
> As I get more confident in my drawing skills and get used to using a drawing tablet, you'll see more and better work.
> 
> Also, last thing, I'd just like to say that I adore every comment I get on this, and after a hard week at home, reading them all out again made me feel so much better, and gave me the motivation I needed to write this chapter.


	15. Testing the Waters

Waking up, Edward was warmer than he could remember being in a long time. It was like lying in a sunbeam, being wrapped up in a blanket with Roy.

 

But he wasn't exactly comfortable.

 

Roy… Had confessed something to him last night, some sort of romantic feeling towards Ed, and Ed had responded positively, and even invited Roy to stay with him down on the little couch for the night.

He'd even kissed Roy.

Granted, it had been a very innocent little kiss, but the thought was still there.

 

Ed moved his tail from where it rested across Roy's thigh and down his leg and let it hang over the edge of the couch.

He was nervous, did he even feel anything towards Roy? He must, to not be pushing him away.

But still…

It felt nice to be wrapped up in his arms, all warm and safe.

 

What would Al think?

What would Winry think?

What would anyone think?

 

Ed's thoughts began to race with worst-case scenarios, how badly this could end for him, for Roy, or all of them, but he was brought back down to reality when the arms around him loosened, and as Roy sat them both up, Ed blushing furiously as he realized that he was seated in Roy's lap, his leg on one side of Roy, and what remained of his other on the other side with his hand wrapped around Roy's back, still in the same position it was in while he slept.

 

Meeting Roy's eyes, he found Roy looking concerned.

 

“You don't have to lie to stay here, Ed.” He said, a sort of finality to his voice.

 

“Lie?” Edward asked.

 

“You don't have to pretend to be okay with me having… feelings… for you, even if you're not okay with this, I wouldn't kick you out, or neglect you, I'd just have to move on.” Roy explained, his grip on Ed loosening by the moment.

 

Ed frowned, and let his head come to rest on Roy's chest. Roy's heart sped up beneath Ed's ear, and Ed couldn't get his own body to relax, not really. So, he explained himself.

“I'm okay with it.” Edward began, feeling Roy's hands become a little more sure on him, “But I don't know if I have any…” Ed struggled with the word the same way Roy had mere moments before him. “… Feelings, as you put it, for you, but I'm willing to find out, or develop them. Just to find out if _this_ can work.” Ed pulled his head back away to look at Roy's face.

 

Roy was smiling a small smile. “Thank you.”

 

Ed felt more blood rush to his face, and he pressed it back into Roy's face to hide the blush. “I can still change my mind, you know.”

 

“Of course you can.”

 

Later in the day, after Roy had left for work, Ed contemplated calling Alphonse. Al would probably kill him if he waited until he returned to Central to tell him about this, but then again, Ed didn't know what 'this' was, or if it would even last a single day.

And would it be fair to Roy, for Ed to run crying to Al, to ask if he was doing the right thing?

Al would probably tell him that if he was uncomfortable to stop, to let Roy get over this crush or whatever it was.

Oh, what if Roy loved him?

 

Ed sat in his wheelchair in the kitchen, and stared at the phone, and wondered.

 

Was Roy hiding bigger feelings, pretending that it was something small and inconsequential?

Ed drummed his fingers, working out nervous energy.

 

Did he even have any kind of feelings for Roy?

Was he right this morning, to decide to give him a chance?

 

Edward thought of Roy, and the way he had held him throughout the night, and the way that he had taken him and his brother in without a second thought, providing for them when they needed it most, helping not only financially, but legally and morally.

 

Even if Ed did not now have any kind of feelings for Roy besides that of a friend, an ally, he owed him the chance for those emotions to change, to grow and reshape into something that could be romantic, maybe grow to be love.

 

Yeah, Ed could do this.

 

If nothing else, he could try to make this work.

 

 

Roy did everything he could to get home early that day, and at one searching look, Hawkeye had become lenient and allowed him to go home an hour early. He didn't know what it was she had seen in his face for her to loosen her iron grip on the office, but whatever it was, he didn't really care.

He was taking the first steps into a serious relationship, with Ed of all people.

 

He cared for him, immensely, and trying to look back, Roy realized that the feeling had been there for a long time now, since before Edward was taken away from them, though back then they had been weak and almost nonexistent. Something that could grow, given the time. And maybe, spending time without any kind of contact, being alone with his memories of Edward, had given them the strength they had needed to grow. Remembering him for who he was and… Roy hesitated to think _fall in love_ with the memory. He didn't love Ed, not like that, not yet.

But it was easy to see that he could.

 

The day was warm as Roy walked home. He wanted to get home and see Ed, even if that just meant to talk, just to spend time together. To give Edward someone to talk to, someone to vent to about the things that had happened when he was being held prisoner.

Not exactly something that could be considered a date, but something to show that Roy cared.

That he could be there when Edward needed him.

Maybe he'd stop by that old Xingese place on the way home, grab some dinner for the both of them.

Roy's cooking skills weren't fantastic, so he was sure Edward would be happy at the prospect of good food.

What would Ed like? Roy had seen him scarf down just about anything edible, besides milk, or most dairy for that matter, so about anything would do.

Maybe he'd just go with a stir-fry noodle dish, yeah, that was simple, and almost guaranteed to go over well.

 

He got home exactly at eight that night, but not to Edward quietly reading on the couch, no that would make everything too easy. But he came into the house, releasing a cloud of a burning smell, smoke coming from the kitchen, and loud cursing.

 

“Edward?” Roy set the food he'd picked up on the dining table and made his way quickly into the kitchen, where Edward was standing, propped up on the counter by the stove, and stirring… something in a pot, which had a good cloud of smoke coming from it.

“What are you doing?”

 

Ed was looking disheveled and a bit desperate when he said, “help,” so with a great exasperated sigh, Roy brought Ed's wheelchair back over to him, got Ed back in it, and turned off the stove. What was in the stove looked to be spaghetti noodles, but it was blackened in places and merging into one big chunk of noodle while a smaller pot of sauce burned to the sides of the pot on a separate burner.

Roy tossed the noodle lump into the garbage and poured the ruined sauce down the sink before rolling up his sleeves and beginning to scrub out the burnt patches in the pans.

“What were you trying to do?” Roy asked, elbow-deep in suds. “Were you too hungry to wait?”

 

“No, I,” Ed scratched at his head, “I wanted to be useful. I wanted to make dinner. I wanted you to come home to a meal. But, turns out it's hard to cook with one arm.”

 

“I would've thought you'd know that.” Roy commented, “But why? You're not my housewife.” _Yet_.

Roy ignored the last thought, pretending it never crossed his mind at all.

 

Edward just shrugged, bringing his tail up to rest in his lap. “I don't really do anything around here, and we're, I don't know. I just wanted to do something nice.”

 

Roy smiled over his shoulder at Edward. “Thank you, but you're recovering. I didn't expect you to do anything to help me, nor do I want you to. You need to be getting better. But, if you still want to do something nice, there's some Xingese take-out on the table in there,” Roy nodded to the doorway. “Do you think you could bring it in?”

 

“Sure.” Ed carefully turned in his chair and made his way out, while Roy decided that the dishes 'needed to soak.'

 

When Ed came back, Roy took the boxes of food and distributed the massive portions of food onto two plates. “Come on,” he told Ed, “Dinner's ready.”


	16. Decided Companionship

Edward felt better after dinner, more relaxed, and more open to the prospect of a relationship with Roy.

Even more so afterwards, curled up next to him on the couch, an alchemized fire burning as he pressed up against Roy, one of his arms slung over his shoulders, keeping him nice and warm.

There was a warm feeling in his stomach as well, but not from the hot meal they had just shared. It wasn't something Ed was used to, not really something he had experienced before, but he found himself liking it.

Edward felt himself smiling as he flipped a page in his book, reading but not absorbing the words. That didn't matter though, he could read it again later, when he wasn't being distracted by the hand on his shoulder, or the finger running over one of the larger scales situated there.

There was that noise again, rumbling in his throat.

The growling kind of purr that came from the alligator in him.

It was actually a soothing noise.

Ed looked up from his book to meet Roy's eyes, who was staring down at him with a smile.

 

Edward felt his cheeks heat up in a blush, but he didn't look away.

He realized he was still smiling.

 

Edward felt Roy's hand move from his shoulder to his cheek, and Ed pressed his face into the touch, loving the feeling of the warm heat on his cold skin.

 

“I'm so much warmer now.” Edward said, moving his own hand up to hold onto Roy's, letting the book fall down to the cushions, his place not marked. “I'd gotten used to being cold all the time.”

 

Roy's smile faded a bit. “Why don't you stay the night with me, upstairs? You'll be warmer there, with me.”

 

Edward hesitated. The thought of a warm bed was alluring, but the intimacy of sharing a bed was less so. Sure, he had shared the couch that night, and even now he was pressed against his, boyfriend? Was that the right word?

It sounded so… childish. Almost inappropriate.

 

“You don't have to,” Roy told him, his hand moving from his cheek to run through his hair, oh, that felt nice. “But you're looking so much better today, after being with me last night, being warm overnight, even your scales are a brighter color,” Roy glanced down to where Ed's tail was moving over the carpet, moving nonstop, “and you have so much more energy. I think it'd be beneficial.”

 

“You're right.” Ed admitted, forcing his tail to stop moving across the carpet. He'd get rug-burn. Could he get rug-burn? Ed moved his head to stare into the flames in the hearth. “Just don't try anything.”

 

The hand in Ed's hair stilled. “I wouldn't.”

 

Ed immediately felt bad. “I'm sorry.” He said, resting his head on Roy's shoulder. “I didn't think you would, but-”

 

“It's okay.” The hand rested back on Ed's shoulder. “It's getting late, why don't we head upstairs-”

 

There was a click at the front door, then the squeaking sound of it swinging open on its hinges.

 

Not even a moment later, Al was in the living room, setting down his bag on the nearby table, talking about this and that. “We're back early! Winry figured out-” He stopped talking the moment what he saw sank in.

 

Ed could only imagine what it looked like, the two of them snuggled up on the couch, sharing a blanket and personal space.

 

“Hey, Al.” Ed croaked.

 

Winry just looked smug as she stepped in beside Al, who still hadn't moved from his state of shock. “What's going on here?” She asked, dropping her own bag on the floor before kneeling down next to it and pulling out one of the automail limbs.

 

“Well,” Ed started, but Roy explained before he could find the words to begin.

 

“Edward and I have… initiated a romantic relationship in the time that you have been gone, Alphonse.” Roy did not move from his spot on the couch, or his hand from Ed's shoulder.

 

“You've, what?” Alphonse spoke, but he didn't blink as he took in the scene before him. “Since when?”

 

“What, two days now?” Edward answered, carefully moving his head from where it rested on Roy.

 

“Two days.” Roy confirmed.

 

“And you're cuddling on the couch, way to move fast.” Winry smiled as she stood, holding a silvery automail arm. “Here's your new arm, but we're going to need to reinstall the ports to the nerve connections left in your shoulder. Same with your leg.” Her expression changed from happy and joking to serious. “It's not going to be easy, and it could injure and damage a lot of the nerve endings in your shoulder and thigh, you could lose some feeling, too. Are you sure about this? You could just get normal prosthetics.”

 

“I could.” Edward said, “But I won't. I need automail.”

 

Winry sighed, “I knew you'd say that. Mr. Mustang, I'm going to need to preform surgery on Ed, would it be alright to preform it here?”

 

“Please.” Roy said, “Whatever he needs.”

 

“I'll go on a schedule it for,” She paused to think, “When will you be ready, Ed? A month, two?”

 

“Tomorrow.” Edward said.

 

That shocked Al out of his stupor. “Ed, you're still not at perfect health!”

 

“I need to get it out of the way.” Edward said, “I'm sick of having to rely on all of you for everything. I want to be whole again. I want to be able to walk again.”

 

Al made a movement to protest, and was about to start arguing when Winry placed a hand on his shoulder and shook her own head.

 

“It's not worth it, Al.” She turned to look at the two men on the couch. “Ed, I can start as soon as I have everything sanitized and a place to work, which will be…”

 

“My room.” Roy answered, to a knowing look from Winry and a growing anger from Al. “I stayed down here with Edward last night and he's warmer and more energized than he has been in a long time. If it will be alright, I'll be staying with him while he recovers.”

 

“That will be fine. He'll need the heat, and it'll be good to have someone with him at night. Just don't get too rough with him.”

 

“Winry!” Al chastised. “Okay, you know what? No!”

 

“Al?” Ed moved to the edge of the couch, away from Roy.

 

“What are you doing with him? _Why_ are you with him?” Al was furious, “Why didn't you tell me?”

 

“Al, calm down!” Winry said, but he only glared at her.

 

“Because-” Ed began but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. Roy stood up from his seat, and apologized to Al.

 

“I'm the one who has feelings for your brother, Alphonse. He's just trying to give it a chance.”

 

“In exchange for what? A roof over our heads?” Al demanded, showing his temper, rare but ferocious.

 

“In exchange for nothing!” Ed was the one to answer that, “I never even thought there would be trouble if I didn't give Roy a chance! You need to listen, Al! I wasn't around to give my blessing to your and Winry's relationship, but I would have! If you got together with anyone, and you were willing to give them a chance I wouldn't be on the other side of the room from you screaming about it. I'd be wishing you luck. I'd be _supporting_ you.”

 

“You'd be suspicious of them and tailing their every move and you know it!” Al countered, “and I'm not the one ' _getting together_ ' with a man twice my age!”

 

Edward raised his chin at Al. “At least I' giving him a chance.” And looked away, ready to ignore any further comments or arguments from Al.

 

“Winry,” Ed turned to her instead, “What do I need to do to prepare for the surgery?”

 

Winry looked scared, and her mouth was pulled tight into a frown. “We just need to get you upstairs and the bed covered in a sterile sheet. Then I can begin preparations.”

 

“Roy, can you help me upstairs?” Ed asked, not really giving him a choice as he propped himself up against him.

 

Roy gave Winry a helpless glance, before looking over to Al, who averted his gaze immediately. With a sigh, he did as he was asked, and hoped that Winry would talk some sense into Al.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Al is pretty angry in this, but it's more out of genuine concern than anything else.
> 
> Please leave comments, my self-esteem needs it!


	17. Reconciliation

Ed had felt guilty the moment Al started arguing with him, but the feeling had been left to fester as he was laid out on the sterile bed just a day later. He shouldn't have cut off the argument like that, and he should have tried harder to get Al to understand.

He should have called Al to tell him in the time that he was gone.

 

But what was done was done, and he let out a sigh as he heard Winry roll up the table next to him. It was covered in surgical tools and implements, and the first cold streaks of fear settled in Ed's stomach. This wasn't something he'd ever wanted to, or thought he'd have to go through again, but here he was, about to have his arm and leg cut into once more.

 

Part of him wanted to decline the surgery. Part of him wanted to stay as he was now, humiliating or not.

 

But that part of him was a coward.

Edward needed this, he needed to be independent.

He needed freedom.

 

“Are you sure, Ed? Winry asked, picking up a syringe. Almost as if she had read his thoughts. The syringe was filled with a mix of a weak paralytic and a simple anesthetic, but not too much of either. Too much would impede the process of the surgery.

 

“Positive.” Ed said, and his voice shook. Winry was kind enough to not comment on it.

 

With a sigh, she wiped off his elbow with an antiseptic wipe before finding a vein and injecting the medical mixture.

Mere moments later, Ed felt himself become just a bit numb to the world, and no matter how hard he tried, he could barely move his fingers. “Okay,” he croaked, closing his eyes against the tide of fear. “I'm ready.”

 

“Last chance.” Winry said as she picked a scalpel from the wide array of tools she had available. “We don't have to do this yet. You can wait, build up some strength, some courage.”

 

“Just get it over with.” Ed grit his teeth as he felt the first incision be made.

Then the scalpel pressed deeper into the first cut, pressing further, hunting for what remained of his automail connections.

 

The scalpel found the severed nerve connection, and Ed let out the first scream of the procedure.

 

 

 

Meanwhile, Roy and Al sat across from each other at the small table in the kitchen, two cups of coffee cooling between them and their silent stand-off.

 

Al's fury had not abated, and he was currently giving Roy a glare to rival his brother's as he tapped his fingers on the edge of the table.

 

“Alphonse,” Roy began, but with no confidence to his tone, his eyes glued to his own cup of coffee, a picture of humbleness. “I understand why you're upset-”

 

“I don't care.”

 

Roy faltered, but kept going. “But this is Edward's choice.”

 

“I don't care.” Alphonse repeated.

 

“Al-”

 

“No, Mustang.” Al stood, scraping his chair across the tiles. “You're twice his age, his commanding officer, oh, and a _man_. Ed isn't gay.”

 

Roy frowned as he looked up at Alphonse. “And yet here we are.”

 

Al scowled at him, but before he could say anything, they were both chilled by the sound of Ed screaming.

 

Roy jumped out of his chair, but before he could make a run for the staircase, he was stopped by Al's arm on his chest.

 

“It's normal, the screaming.” He said, “He has to be able to feel what's happening for it to work properly.”

 

“So we're just supposed to sit here and 'talk things out' while Ed is upstairs in agony?” Roy asked.

 

“Yes, but-” Al was cut off by another scream, and this time he wasn't fast enough to stop Roy from jogging up the stairs and racing into his bedroom.

Al followed behind.

 

Roy kneeled down next to his bed, so that he was eye-level with Ed.

 

“Get out.” Ed hissed through gritted teeth, tears rolling down the sides of his face and his eyes wide and blood-shot. His reptilian pupils were slits of black in his golden eyes as he repeated himself. “Get out!”

 

“No.” Roy took Ed's remaining hand into his own two hands. “I'm not going to leave you alone in this.”

 

Winry had stopped moving the moment the door had opened, but Roy ordered her to continue with the surgery.

 

There were a hundred reasons Winry had to kick him out of the room.

Ed didn't want him there.

He wasn't cleaned off and sterile.

He couldn't possibly want to see Ed in so much pain, but-

 

The look in his eyes silenced any argument she could make. So she obeyed him and continued to cut into Ed's shoulder, digging and searching for the severed nerve connectors and readers.

 

Ed was quieter now, his hand holding tight to Roy's whenever a new tool was moved into his arm and leg, whenever a nerve replacement was hooked up to where an old one used to reside.

Roy wiped the tears away that fell from Ed's eyes and pressed soft kisses to the back of Ed's hand whenever he called out in pain.

 

Winry watched him closely whenever she got the chance to look away from her work.

 

Roy had only eyes for Edward at the moment. Winry smiled to herself despite the blood, despite the agony her closest friend was in.

He'd found someone worth his time.

 

Al, however, was not convinced as he stood in the doorway.

 

 

Nearly twelve hours later, Ed lay on the bed with the sterilized sheet gone, and a new automail port on his shoulder.

A cold compress lay on his forehead, chilling him to the bone but perfectly necessary. They couldn't let his fever get too high.

But finally, he was asleep.

It was most likely due to the fact that he was now loaded with pain killers, but it was a blessing nonetheless.

 

It was nearly three in the morning when Roy deemed Ed deep asleep enough to enter his own bed, carefully maneuvering under the blankets as to not jostle Ed, but even as he turned to face him, he felt a scaly, cold tail make it's way over to his leg and wrap around his ankle.

With a smile, Roy reached out and took Ed's hand in his own.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like my writing is becoming less descriptive.  
> Has anyone else noticed this or is it just me?


	18. Letting it go

Ed spent the next few days drifting in and out of unconsciousness. Waking up periodically for water and to be carefully guided to the bathroom in his half-awake state.

He never said anything during those brief moments of awareness, but Alphonse hoped that he was awake enough to listen to everything that was said to him.

 

All three of them took turns watching over him as he slept, as he rested and healed from the horribly invasive surgery he had undergone.

It was Roy's turn now, Al knew. But could anyone blame him that he didn't want to give up his spot at his brother's side? So he sat still on the right side of Roy's bed, holding tight to Ed's left hand, sure to be careful of his claws as he rubbed his thumb over the scaly skin of his brother's hand. Al was quiet now, letting silence fill the air rather than talking to his brother, he was thinking about the most recent development.

 

Roy and his brother.

 

He wasn't disgusted by the idea, just a bit… scared.

 

Ed had been through so much in his short life, and he didn't need Mustang to add in another tragedy.

 

And it wasn't like Al didn't trust the man, it was more just shock. No, just confusion. Out of everyone they knew, and all the people in the world, why would Edward agree to a relationship with Roy?

 

There was a knock at the door, and Al was pulled from his thoughts as he looked up to see Winry, a hand on the door frame.

“Has he woken up at all?” She asked as Al nodded for her to come in.

 

“No.” Al answered, looking back down to Ed's sleeping face.

His expression was anything but peaceful. His eyes were shut tight and his mouth was pulled into a grimace of pain as he slept on. Sweat dripped down his face to soak into the pillow underneath him.

 

Noticing the sweat pooling around Ed's eyes, Al took a damp cloth from a nearby bowl of ice water and gently wiped the sweat away, wincing when Ed flinched away from the cold cloth in his sleep.

 

Winry took a seat at the rolling office chair that they had pulled away from Roy's desk, and carefully pulled the blankets away from Ed's feverish body to inspect the newly installed ports.

“You need to give Roy a chance.” Winry commented as she pressed lightly to the exposed flesh of Ed's thigh. “He really does care for Edward, and you're not being fair to him.”

 

Al said nothing as he changed the cold compress on Ed's forehead.

 

Winry sighed in exasperation, but continued her check on Ed's ports. “I'm not going to say either of you two were in the right when you fought the other day.”

 

Al glanced up from where he had been staring off into the distance.

 

“Ed was right about you. About you needed to be more willing and open to his relationships. But,” Winry added before Al could add his own two cenz. “You were right about how he would react to you getting into a relationship with anyone. Well, other than me, I guess. He seemed pretty happy about that.”

 

“But,” Al cut in anyway, “Roy is _twice Ed's age_. That can't be healthy.”

 

Winry shrugged, taking her hands away from Ed and pulling the blankets back up to cover him. “Al, you're forgetting something. Tell me right now, off the top of your head, how many people Ed knows that are his age, besides us.”

 

“There's everyone back in Resembool-”

 

“How long has it been since Edward has seen them? Or spoken to them?” Winry asked, peeling off her latex gloves and tossing them in the nearby trash bin. “How many people do _you_ know that are your age?”

 

Al was quiet. There really weren't many people he could list. They'd met some during their journey, but they were so far away, and it had been so long…

 

“He could always meet someone new.” Al continued to defend himself, even though he knew he was losing the battle.

 

Winry stood from her seat and moved around the bed, placing a hand on Al's shoulder and motioning for him to get up off the bed. “He could, but he won't. You know how he is, it just won't happen.”

 

Winry guided the both of them out of the bedroom, but Al glanced back behind them one last time.

 

“Roy has done so much for the both of you, and you're being a jerk.” Winry said as she closed the door behind them, shutting it gently, so that it wouldn't disturb Ed. “He's taken you into his home, paid for Ed's hospital bill, and he's fighting in court so that Ed can live a normal life. Give him a chance, Al.”

 

Winry stayed at the top of the stairs and watched as Al began to descend them, only to stop a couple down.

 

“Why are you so supportive of this?” He asked, turning to look her in the eye.

 

Winry put her hands on her hips. “After everything that's happened, don't you think that Ed deserves something good in his life?”

 

“Of course!” Al frowned, “But what if this doesn't work out, what if he breaks Ed's heart?”

 

Winry raised one eyebrow. “They've just started… dating?” Winry searched for an appropriate word. “It's a bit soon to worry about that. But,” she continued, “That's always a risk. But I've watched Roy sit and hold Ed's hand through surgery, stay up at night to keep watch on him. He really does care, and Ed is willing to give him a chance. You should be, too.”

 

Al grit his teeth. He knew that Winry was right, as she usually was, but it was still something that was hard to do. He did trust Roy, with their safety, with Ed's safety and care, even with the trial that never seemed to end, but this was something new.

 

Winry sighed from where she stood at the top of the staircase. “You and Ed aren't little kids anymore, Al. You can't be together all the time, you aren't joined at the hip. You're going to have separate lives. You have to let Ed be free to make his own decisions, and I know that neither one of you wants to do that. You want to be there for each other at all times, even though you can't.”

 

Al was quiet.

 

Winry sighed again, closing her eyes for just a moment. “That doesn't mean you two can't be close. It just means you need to let Ed make his own decisions, and if this is what he wants, let him have it. I think Roy will be good to him. Good for him.” Winry turned back to the bedroom. “I'm going to see if Ed's willing to wake up and eat something. Send Roy up with some of the soup I made?”

 

Al felt himself deflate. “Sure, Winry.”

 

 

 

Roy was more than a little apprehensive when he saw that it was Al who had been knocking at his study door. The young man had hardly been kind lately, and it wasn't like Roy really blamed him, but he still didn't look forward to his deadpan insults or the flat out way he ignored Roy whenever he worked up the courage to speak with him.

 

“It's your turn to watch over brother.” Al said, with a forced calm to his tone. “Winry is going to try to get him to eat something, so I went ahead and warmed up a bowl of soup. Can you take it up?”

 

Roy was a bit hesitant to respond, but did so anyway. “Of course, Al.” He said.

 

“I left the soup sitting on the kitchen counter.” Al explained.

 

As much as Roy wanted to be upstairs with Ed, he felt that getting on Al's good side was a bit more important at the moment. “Are you sure? I have some paperwork I could do-”

 

Al shook his head. “I'm going to the library. The one in Resembool is really small, and they didn't have much about reptiles or chimeras, and I feel like I need to know more about both before I go back into court. I'll be back by dinner.” Al finished, turning around and heading down the hall without a second word.

 

Roy watched him go for a moment, listening to the front door opening and then shutting before he dared leave his study and head for the kitchen.

Sure enough, there was a large bowl of soup sitting there next to the icebox, steam rising from the surface and filling the room with the soothing scent of chicken broth.

 

Roy went to pick it up, ignoring the way the sides of the bowl burned his calloused hands. Looking into the bowl, he saw very small pieces of vegetables and chicken, pieces so small that they could be swallowed without chewing.

 

Carefully as to not spill a drop of the soup, Roy climbed the stairs, and knocked on the door to his own bedroom, unsure if he was welcome to enter. But the door was opened with a smile as Winry gestured for him to come in, taking the bowl of soup from his hands and moving to the rolling chair she had pulling right up to the side of the bed.

 

Ed was awake now, sitting up against a cluster of pillows. His scales were pale, execpt for the reddened area that surrounded his new port.

 

“Hey, Roy.” Ed murmured, his voice hardly more than a whisper as his eyes shut again.

 

“Hey!” Winry gave Ed's shoulder a light poke, jolting Ed awake again. “No going back to sleep until you've had something to eat.”

 

“Mmn.” Ed hummed, still half-asleep.

 

Roy moved to sit on the other side of the bed.

 

“How are you feeling?” Roy asked Ed, but when it appeared that Ed hadn't registered the words, Roy turned his question to Winry.

 

“He shouldn't be hurting.” Winry said as she stirred the bowl of soup, trying to cool it just a bit before Edward ate it. “But he's still out of it, as you can see. He'll probably be asleep for another day or so.”

 

“When will he be ready for his new limbs?” Roy asked her as she began to feed Ed, who seemed to be barely awake enough to notice the food.

 

Winry nodded to his shoulder, “See the swelling? As soon as that goes down. Could be a few days, could be a week. But he'll be walking on his own within the month if all goes well.”

 

Roy nodded, and reached out to take Ed's hand in his own as he had done so many times already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, wow.
> 
> College is different. I'm looking forward to all my classes now that they've begun, but I'm sad to say that chapters might be further apart. 
> 
> How is Winry here? I feel like she might be out of character.  
> Is she?
> 
> But anyway, thank you all for reading and commenting. Each kudos and comment I receive adds to the next chapter.


	19. First steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not a lawyer.  
> I've never been in court.  
> I've never served jury duty.
> 
> So this is probably not accurate, but I did try.

As it turns out, it was only four more days before Edward could be fitted with his special new automail limbs. It was an ordeal to watch them being attached, and an event that set Ed back another day.  
The pain from the attachment gave him a fever and grounded him to the bed for another twenty-four hours.

But sometimes it seems like miracles happen.

Everyone except for Ed was sitting down in the living room around noon the next day, Roy having been given a few days off to help out with Ed's recovery. An unusual show of leniency and kindness in the workplace that Hawkeye rarely shows.  
Winry was tinkering with a second pair of limbs, a second choice or a backup, if her first attempts at Edward's specialty automail began to suck heat from Ed's body or the rubber coating between Edward's ports and the limbs hindered the way that the automail worked.

Al and Roy, however, were sitting quietly, trying not to let the awkwardness of their respective situations ruin what could be a relaxing day. 

But the quiet could hardly last, not with Edward in the house. They all heard the creaking hinges of a door slowly opening, and then they all jumped when they heard it slam shut.

All three of them stood up at once, waiting to hear if Edward needed help, or if he had managed to hurt himself, or-

Footsteps.

They could hear footsteps.  
There was a soft sound, a foot against a hardwood floor, then a metallic thud against the same floor.

“Edward!” Winry rushed from the sitting room, ready to charge up the stairs and get Edward back into bed, back to resting, but by the time everyone was out of the room, Edward was halfway down the stairs.   
It was slow going, and Edward was practically hugging the railing to maintain his balance, and he was carefully testing each step before he took it, but he was grinning.

After nearly two years, Edward was walking on his own.

No trouble from simple prosthetics, and not an arm lent to him for balance.  
He was walking completely on his own.

“Come on, Ed!” Al called, grinning back at his brother who took another tentative step down.  
Then they were all calling out encouragement, telling Ed to keep going, but when he reached the bottom stair, the last hurdle before the ground floor, his flesh leg gave out on him.  
He fell forward for half a second, but found himself caught in Roy's arms and steadied on the ground.

Even once Edward found his feet again, Roy didn't remove his arms from around Ed's back or his chin from where it rested on Edward's head.

And there it was again.

That alligator purr.

“Let go, you big sap.” Edward said, his words a bit distorted by the purr, but easily the happiest he had sounded in a long time. In fact, he could feel the happiness curling up in his chest, banishing out some of the darkness that had made home in his heart for such a long time now.   
But, there was something else there now. Something brand new, that he hadn't really felt before, and without even a thought from Edward himself, it was directed straight at Roy.

 

The next hour or so passed quickly, each one of them rushing Edward from one part of the house to another, helping him take steps on his new leg and find his balance with his not as new tail.

Roy couldn't be happier as he watched Ed take careful steps in his backyard, and even as Ed stumbled and fell, he felt a sense of joy deep in his being as Ed sat up and laughed at his clumsiness.   
Roy could have watched all day, but of course, the world couldn't allow him more than just a few moments of happiness.

The phone inside was ringing.

Reluctantly, Roy stood from his seat on the back porch and gave a quick 'excuse me,' before he made his way back into the kitchen just before the final ring.

“This is Colonel Mustang. What can I do for you?” He answered, not expecting any calls that day, and excepting someone who wanted donations or someone trying to sell some useless contraption. 

“Colonel.” Riza's voice filtered down through the phone line, and the tone of her voice was urgent. Roy straightened his posture, even though he knew no one could see him.

“Lieutenant. What's going on?”

“I've just returned from a session concerning Edward. They want him to attend the next court session.” Riza explained quickly. “I tried to dissuade them, but they want physical proof of his, and I quote, 'supposed humanity and stable mind.'”

“It's too soon.” Roy said, knowing that that wouldn't change a thing. “He's…” Roy hesitated but continued on anyway, some good news would be welcome today. “He's just started to walk on his own. He couldn't stand trial yet.”

 

But here Roy stood at the sidelines of a court room, looking directly at Edward, who sat in the witness stand, his shoulders hunched over and his tail held tight in his hands.   
Riza stood by his side, and they could both see Alphonse where he sat at a table near the front, prepared to be asked questions to confirm that which Edward said.

What they all could see, was Edward trembling.  
He was terrified, the biggest crowd he had been around in over a year had been just those under Mustang's command, and here he was, in a room currently populated by at least fifty people. 

“Mr. Elric.” Edward jumped when one of the two lawyers spoke up. “You can understand us, yes? You can understand and speak the Amestrian language? Even read it?”

Edward looked confused. “Yes.” He said, “Of course I can.”

“Can you stand, down here in front of the jury? Let them see the changes that have been forced upon you?” The man asked.

Edward carefully let go of his tail, and stood shakily from where he sat.  
It took nearly a full minute, but Edward made his way down to where the jury sat and stood, his green tinged, scaly cheeks turning red as the people of the jury stared down at him.

Roy took a moment to look away from Edward and glanced over at the jury. Some looked at Ed with pity, and others with disgust. 

Ed let his tail swish across the carpeted floor, and pressed his hands together, weaving his fingers together, but in a way so that his claws were very much visible. 

“You're scaled, you have a tail and claws.” The man said, gesturing down the length of Ed's body. “You've got fangs, and if I understand correctly, venomous as well.”

Ed didn't move, but he ran his forked tongue carefully over his grooved teeth before he muttered a yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter seems choppy or disjointed.  
> I've been having a lot of trouble with anxiety and I can't seem to find the motivation to sit down and write, or even plan out the next chapter.  
> I'm on a new med, though. Maybe it'll help.
> 
> I hope you all stay safe in the storms that are currently ravaging the world.


	20. Quiet Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last updated September 13, 2017.   
> Wow.  
> It has been 143 days since I last updated this fic. That's ridiculous.   
> I am SO sorry that I just up and left this fic for so long, but Life kinda happened. I finished my first semester of college, and I had intended to update my fics over my winter break, but my computer died.  
> Don't buy Lenovo. Lenovo sucks.  
> I've got a good computer now, a couple of good friends recommended a Dell Inspiron, and so far so good... Except for the fact that I lost all my documents with the previous chapters of this fic AND my future plans for it!  
> I cannot recover those files, and from here on out, I'm kinda just going to have to wing it. The chapter count is probably going to change, and I might go back and rewrite a chapter or two, but this note is getting kind of long, so let's jump in!  
> Chapter 20!

 

When the trio of exhausted people arrived back at Roy's home, the first thing they planned on doing was to cook a relaxing and filling dinner, but of course, nothing ever went to plan these days.

Ever since Edward had been called to the stand the first time, he had been shaking like the leaves that still stubbornly clung to their branches in the ever increasingly cold autumn winds. His scales were pale on his face as he glanced from side to side, terrified that someone would be jumping out at him from any dark shadow, from behind any tree.

So Roy rushed them home, as much as he could, anyway, with Ed still so unstable on his new leg.

 

Though, when they finally arrived back at Roy's home, and the door was unlocked, the last thing they expected Ed to do was to rush inside, unstable as he was and run down the hall, leaving his brother and Roy standing shocked in the door frame as they heard a door slam open and shut, just for another door to open upstairs and for Winry to come jogging down them, eager to hear about how the day's session had gone.

 

“What was that?” Winry asked as she neared the bottom of the staircase, glancing over her shoulder and down the hall, “Where's Ed?”

 

“I would hazard a guess and say the bathroom.” Roy said, shaking off his stupor and stepping inside and locking the door behind them.

The trio made their way down the hall, one after another, and shared a glance before Alphonse stepped forward and knocked gently on the door.

 

“Brother? Are you alright?”

 

There was no verbal response, but a low miserable growl accompanied by the vibrating sound they all knew by now was the sound made when Ed's tail vibrated against another surface, a warning sound meant to mock that of a rattlesnake.

 

Alphonse drew away from the door, and the other two followed behind.

“It was probably too much for him so soon.” Mustang reasoned, once they believed to be out of earshot. “The crowd, and the volume of the courtroom must’ve been horribly overwhelming.”

 

Alphonse glanced back to the hallway, but didn’t add anything for several seconds.

Roy and Winry stayed silent, seeing the conflict Al was going through for the next sentence.

 

Al bit the inside of his cheek, then let out a heavy sigh and said what he had been debating against for days now.

“What if what they’re saying is right? What if Edward isn’t sane? What if he isn’t going to get better?”

 

“You give up hope for him now and you’re damning him, Alphonse.” Roy warned, hoping the graveness of the situation showed in his voice rather than the shock he was feeling. “You give up on him and what else would he have going for him?”

 

Winry nodded sagely her eyes hard on Alphonse. “You have to support him, you, the most out of all of us.”  


Al bowed his head. He knew he should feel bad for even thinking about giving up on his older brother, but that nagging feeling of hopelessness had been growing ever so steadily over the course of… Well, since Edward was found. How long had it been now? Months? They had spent a week at the hospital when Ed was first rescued, three at home before the second trip back to the hospital where they spent another week, and now here they were almost another two whole weeks later. Almost two months. That wasn’t very long at all, and yet, here Al was.

 

It was easy to see the conflict of emotions flicker across Al’s face as he fought with himself. Edward would do anything in his power, and probably try much that wasn’t in his power to help Al if it were him in this situation, it if it was him hiding from the world with the features of a reptile and his freedom in the balance.

But that was just it.

He isn’t his brother, and he didn’t know how much longer he could look at Edward, watch him fear things that he never would have thought twice about before.

When everything was fine, when Al was flesh and whole and Edward was happy there beside him. It only lasted a week, but it was the best week of his life.

Even before, when Al was nothing more than a soul and some steel, he was happy to some degree, but now, now he was caring for his older brother. His older brother who had never accepted help before if he could do anything about it had just spent over a month unable to do most things on his own, and Alphonse was tired.

 

Roy frowned down at Alphonse. It had to be tiring, he _knew_ it was tiring. But Edward needed the support from all of them, and Winry was right. Edward needed Al’s help the most.

Winry was a good friend, the best the brothers had.

Roy himself wasn’t exactly sure what to label himself as in the life of the Elric siblings, but he’d been there since Edward lost his limbs and sold his soul in exchange for a silver pocket watch.

Alphonse, however, was his brother. His flesh and blood, a family member who’d always been there by his side who fought alongside him at all times. If he gave up hope, if he thought that Edward was a lost cause, then what would Edward think of himself?

What motivation could there be to pick himself up and keep moving forward?

 

Roy glanced away from Al to meet a knowing look in Winry’s eyes.

“You go on and check in on Edward.” She said, a gentleness in her voice that Roy hadn’t yet heard.

With any luck he’d be able to get to know the young woman in the coming future. “I’ll have a talk with Al.” She finished, moving to lay a hand on Al’s back, to lead him further into the house where they could have a private discussion away from Edward’s sensitive ears.

 

It took only a few moments for Roy to reach the bathroom door once again, no time at all to gather his thoughts, but he already had a good idea of what he needed to say.

Roy rapped on the door with his knuckles and waited for an answer.

When none came, he laid his hand on the door knob and gave a quiet warning that he was about to open the door.

There was still no response from inside, so Roy cracked the door open and peered inside.

 

Edward was huddled in the space between the counter and the bathtub, his knees drawn up to his chest.

The buttons on his white button down shirt were undone and the black vest and jacket he had been wearing in the courtroom were flung across the room to pile behind the door.

 

Roy opened the door the rest of the way, but only long enough to allow himself entry before he closed it behind him.

 

Roy crossed the room in two strides, and stood in front of Edward for only a heartbeat before he asked, “Mind if I join you?”

 

There was a split second of indecision before Ed scooted over just a hair.

 

Roy gave a small smile before he squeezed himself into the small space with Edward.

 

Ed stayed quiet, his fingers drumming on his knees and his tail wrapped tightly around his legs, but when Roy glanced down, he saw one golden eye peering through bangs up at him, as his mouth was pulled taut into a frown.

 

Roy’s left arm was pressing into Ed’s right arm, which, truth be told, was not a comfortable situation to be in, so after a moment of deliberation he pulled it out from between them and laid it over Edward’s shoulders, pulling him in closer.

Now, the automail arm was pressing against his ribs, which might actually be even more uncomfortable, but this is what Roy decided to do and it was a bit late to back out now, as Edward leaned into him.

 

“You don’t need to hide away, Edward.” Roy spoke softly. “Least of all here.”

 

Edward gave a small nod as he sighed out his frustration.

 

“I know the crowd today must’ve made you uncomfortable, and the questioning was frustrating to say the least. I’ll see if there’s anything we can do to keep you from having to make another appearance in court. You just say the word and-”

 

“That’s not the problem.” Edward said in a low growl. “I didn’t like being in front of so many people like this, and yeah, those people are assholes, but that isn’t the problem.”

 

Edward had raised his head up to look at Roy without the barrier of his hair.

 

Roy hurt then, looking down at Edward. Reptilian eyes or not, Roy could detect the fear and helplessness that Edward was feeling with just a glance.

 

“Then what is?” Roy asked, dreading the answer. He didn’t know what it could be that had Edward so upset, but whatever it was he knew down to his core that it couldn’t be good.

 

“I’m afraid that this is almost over.” Edward stated simply, looking away again only to press his face into Roy’s shoulder as he began to tremble. “Staying here with you, and living with Al and seeing Winry, even when Hawkeye and everyone come to visit – I’m terrified that it’s all going to end.”

 

“Why would this all end?” Roy questioned, resting his chin on top of Edward’s head as he rubbed his hand up and down Ed’s flesh arm in an attempt to comfort him.

 

“This trial,” Edward began, “The way those people were looking at me today, they don’t think I can be let out among others! They’re going to take me away and lock me away in another cell. I’ll be a test subject again.”

 

Roy grit his teeth together and he pulled Edward into his lap to wrap his arms around the distressed boy. An action that was much harder than it would have been a few days ago with the new addition of two metal limbs.

 

“Don’t think about that.” Roy said sternly. “I promise you, not one person in this house will let you go without a fight. Not one person you know will let those people lay a finger on you, I swear it.”

 

Edward sat still, but slowly he let himself relax. Slowly, his own arms wrapped around Roy’s back.

 

And Roy loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels good to finally post this chapter.   
> I have started getting notifications of comments on pretty much all my works here, and it just made me feel so much better.  
> It's taken all day but I made myself sit down and actually type this all out, and I'm so glad I did.  
> I feels good to be back, but I also had 0 motivation to actually do this so I hope it isn't terrible!  
> I don't know how often my stories will be updated, but I assure you it won't be months like this!  
> Please keep leaving your wonderfully inspiring comments, they really do help me get through the days!


	21. A Rough Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit short and sweet tonight, but the next chapter will be longer. 
> 
> Just a reminder, to keep updated on when I'll be posting, or to see art for the stories by me, and some others who are kind enough to make fanart of their own, keep an eye on my tumblr, which can be found here:   
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/quicksilver7773
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

Snapping awake, Edward shot up in bed, trying to pull himself up into a sitting position, but his automail leg caught in the sheets of the bed.

For a moment, Ed did not know where he was, his mind perceiving the pain in his shoulder and leg, and that fact that he was stuck sending his mind back to his cell, back months ago, when his every move was watched, when he had no privacy or freedom.

He felt a flash of fear and panic, and in a struggle to free himself from whatever it was holding him down, he fell from the side of the bed, hitting his head on the bedside table as he fell.

He heard a crash, and felt something else bump him on the head before a soft warm light flicked on with a clicking noise, and his name asked in a quiet, but still very concerned voice.

 

“Ed?” Roy asked him, getting out of bed and walking around to Ed’s side before he knelt down beside him, “Are you alright? What happened?”

 

With the soft yellow light from the lamp, and Roy’s very concerned face in view, Ed felt the panic in his gut ebb away, leaving him feeling drained.

 

“Yeah.” Edward said, trying to sit up straight, but as he moved, he felt his dizzy, and his vision swam. He heard a steady, loud tone in his ears, but as the world swam back into focus, he realized the sound was not coming from his own head, but it was that of a siren, slowly fading into the distance. That must have been what had woken him up.

 

He felt something touch his forehead, and a jolt of pain surprised him, making him flinch back a little. The pain subsided, and left behind a steady throb.

 

Roy withdrew his hand from where he had touched a growing red spot on Edward’s face, but his eyes didn’t leave it.

 

Edward pressed the fingers of his own flesh hand to the site, and promptly felt stupid. He’d been startled awake, which was nothing to be embarrassed about in itself, but he’d immediately panicked, enough to fall out of bed like a child, and knock over Roy’s bedside table, flinging off everything that had been on it, spilling the glass of water that had been left for him, along with the loosely-capped pill bottles that were sitting next to it.

 

“Sorry.” Edward huffed, “I’ll clean that up.” But when Edward tried to get his feet beneath him, a second, but just as familiar pain reared its head. This one was sharper, and much more pronounced. This time, with the pain a hissed breath escaped through Ed’s teeth, showing just how much pain he was in and his hand moved from the ground to his new leg port.

 

“Nonsense.” Roy’s voice cut through the growing fog of pain, and Ed felt himself be helped back onto the bed.

Roy was still kneeling before him, and Ed watched him as he rolled up the pants leg over his automail, and frowning at the blistering and bleeding patch of reddened skin.

 

“This shouldn’t look like this.” Roy said, not really asking. “Should I wake up Ms. Rockbell?”

 

“Nah,” Ed answered, “It’s because I’ve been using it too much too soon. It’ll go away on it’s own.”

 

A guilty look passed over Roy’s face. “I’m sorry. I should’ve been more stern about keeping you out of court until you were fully recovered.”

 

Edward grimaced. “Don’t worry about that.”

 

“I can’t help worrying about you right now.” Roy said, getting back up to his feet. “If nothing else, we can get some ice on this.” Roy glanced over Ed’s face, “and maybe some for your head, too.”

 

“I’m fine.” Edward tried to protest, but Roy was already heading for the door.

 

“You just lay back down, I’ll be back in just a moment.” Roy left the bedroom door cracked open, and as Edward lay back against the pillows, he could see the doorway across the hall, the room where Al and Winry were staying.

Ed felt a curl of some dark emotion settle in his chest.

They should be home. In Resembool, in Rush Valley, or wherever it was that they wanted to make their home. But they were here in Central, staying in someone else’s house because of Ed.

It wasn’t his fault, but…

It really was.

It was Edward’s own fault for being taken in the first place. It was his own fault that he didn’t escape. It was Edward’s own illness that cost them their apartment, and it was his disappearance that caused them both so much pain.

 

How much more would they suffer for his sake?

 

Edward moved his gaze from the doorway, and instead turned to assess the damage his earlier panic had caused.

 

The brightly colored pills were scattered across the floor, the bottles lying on their sides nearby the mess. The glass had thankfully not broken, but water was still spilled out next to it, soaking into the carpet. He could fix that, a clap of his hands and a simple change of state transmutation would evaporate all the water before it could cause moisture damage to the floor beneath.

 

Just as Ed was thinking of getting up and at least trying to clean, the door creaked open slowly, Roy stepping through the threshold with an armful of bandages and towels.

 

He came around the bed and sat on the edge, laying his burden down beside them. Edward stayed quiet as Roy took a few chunks of ice and wrapped them up tightly in a towel. “Hold this against your head. If we’re lucky, it’ll keep a bruise from forming.”

 

Edward took the towel and did as he was told. The cloth felt rough against the reddened skin, but the cool feeling of the ice did help the pain.

 

Roy had also brought up a small roll of cotton bandages and a tube of some kind of ointment. He was still for just a second, before he asked quietly, “Do you mind if I touch your automail?”

 

Edward was confused for a moment. Roy had helped him with so much over the past few months, not to mention the past few days, and he had known the man since he was twelve. Did he really think Edward would be uncomfortable with him near his prosthetic?

 

But he could appreciate the gesture.

 

“Go ahead, it’s fine.” Edward mumbled, feeling himself start to drift off. The ointment stung as Roy applied it, but soon enough it had dulled out as Roy lay a second ice pack over the bandages, in hopes of bringing down the swelling.

Edward was nearly asleep when Roy went to straighten up the mess in the corner, but he protested when Roy began to pick up each pill to put back into their separate containers.

 

“I made that mess.” Edward reasoned, “I should clean it up.”

 

Roy hardly took notice. “You are also recovering from automail surgery, and you’ve given yourself a good sized bump to the head. It’s not a big mess. Just go back to sleep.”

 

“I can at least alchemize the water out of the carpet.” Edward argued.

 

“I can do that, too.” Roy answered easily, putting the side table right-side up, and setting the now empty class on top, next to the alarm clock. That must’ve been what fell on Ed after he’d knocked over the table.

 

“But I don’t need a circle.” Edward mumbled, he knew Roy wasn’t going to let him help at all, but that didn’t mean he felt justified to be sitting in bed while Roy cleaned up the mess he’d made.

 

“It doesn’t need to be cleaned up tonight.” Roy said, “The light from the transmutation would wake everyone up. It can wait until morning.”

 

Edward finally admitted defeat, and closed his eyes. It wasn’t long before he was back asleep.

 

Roy looked down at him as he stood back up.

Edward was still recovering, but he had already been called back into court. They expected him to show for the next witness to be called to stand.

 

Roy had once again tried to argue his case, but once again they had ignored him.

 

Roy settled back into bed and pulled the covers back over the both of them, settling back against Ed, giving him the external heat to stay warm throughout the night. The previous day was still fresh in his mind, Edward hiding away, fearing the day that he would be taken away, becoming a test subject yet again, with no hope to see the light of day.

Roy wouldn’t let that happen.

He would keep Ed safe from the military’s clutches if it killed him.

 

 


	22. Planning for the Worst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter is a bit later than I had promised, but I've had quite the week, and better late than never, right?
> 
> You may have noticed that the number of chapters has changed to 35, but really, that's just an estimate right now. This isn't going as fast as I had thought it would have.

It was not a good thing to do, and the longer Roy sat at his table thinking about it, the worse he felt. Under no other circumstances would he have drugged Edward’s food, but this was the world they were in now.

Alphonse and Winry sat at the table with him, but no one dared to speak.

 

Roy’s men would be arriving soon. They all knew of the current situation, which Roy was quite thankful for. He’d already had to go over the day’s events with his two guests, he did not think he could make it through a second time.

The clock lets out a steady chime as an hour passed by, the sudden sound startling Alphonse out of his thoughts.

“They should be here, soon,” Winry muttered, her eyes wide as she stared out at nothing.

 

“Would you like to wait upstairs?” Roy offered, “They may only be a few minutes away, but if it would help...” He didn’t exactly know how to finish. The only thing that would help any of them now was a good end to this case. An end where Edward stayed home with the rest of them. Safe and sound from any government laboratories.

 

“No,” Winry answered firmly with a single word and a shudder.

Alphonse leaned over to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she leaned into him. He was offering comfort to her, but taking some from the gesture as well.

Roy blinked over at them, his mind drifting back to the previous day when he held Edward in a similar way as he voiced his fears about the near future. A future that seemed to be coming all to fast for anyone’s liking.

 

Silence fell again, and Roy found his thoughts drifting without any kind of coherency, each thought fleeing quickly in time with the ticks of the clock.

 

As the light faded outside, the bright shine of headlights flooded through the front windows, accompanied by the sound of a car shutting off.

 

With a great deal of apprehension, Roy got up to let his team inside.

 

It took only a few minutes longer than normal for everyone to settle down around the dining table, Havoc and Falman dragging a couple of chairs in from the kitchen.

As normal, Hawkeye broke the silence.

 

“What’s the plan?”

 

“We keep Edward safe, no matter the cost,” Roy said automatically. “If we have to flee the country with him then that is what we will do.”

Such an action would put more than a damper on his plans for the fuehrer's seat, but it was a small price to pay, under the circumstances.

 

“All this time, and all this work for nothing,” Hawkeye said softly. She wasn’t upset, she would do anything in her power to keep everyone in this room safe, and she was sure all the others felt the same way, but… she had spent most of her life in this country, in this city, now there was potential for all of it to go to waste.

 

“There really isn’t another way,” Roy muttered, resting his head on his hands. “But you do not have to follow me. Not now.”

 

Dull looks from seven different pairs of eyes did not seem to make the man realize how stupid he was being.

 

“You all have lives you’ve built here, separate from myself and my goals. If we have to leave this country-”

 

Havoc stubbed out his cigarette with a huff, “Like we’d stay here if you and the boss were fugitives.”

 

Roy couldn’t say he was surprised, as the rest of his team voiced their agreement. “That better have not left a mark on the table, Jean.”

 

Havoc dropped his eyes to where he had pressed the tip of his cigarette to the wooden table, and quickly brushed away the ash, where Roy decided not to look too closely.

After all, by this time tomorrow, he might not even be living here anymore.

 

“Xing would be our best bet.” Alphonse offered, “Ling and Mei are there, they’d shelter us without a question.”

 

“The desert would be a challenge.” Riza added, “but I do agree. There is no way to make it to Drachma, Creta and Aerugo would be hard to hide in, especially trying to hide Edward.”

 

The discussion continued into the night, and with a solemn feeling in the air, it was agreed that Xing would be where they would run if worst came to worst.

With any luck, they wouldn’t have to use the plan they’d just concocted.

 

As Roy’s team left, heading home to their own beds, Roy stopped at the bottom of the stairs. He knew that he wouldn’t be getting any sleep that night, and he would be surprised if anyone did.

“Pack a bag, both of you.” Roy told Al and Winry, “Just one, and take only what is necessary. We have to be ready to run.”

 

Al gave him a short nod, his eyes hard with determination as he led Winry up the stairs. “Thank you.” He said quietly, not bothering to elaborate, not that he even needed to.

 

Roy heard the door to their room click shut as he made his way to the kitchen with a large bag. He opened up his cabinets and began to rifle through what he had stored away.

He couldn’t take anything perishable, but he should have plenty of canned goods hidden away in the back.

The sound of the tin on the counter disguised the sound of automail tapping across the floors and down the stairs, but as it got closer, the sound was clear.

Edward was awake.

 

Roy turned to see Edward staring up at him from his spot in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest, rage turning his eyes hard as the slitted pupils focused squarely onto Roy.

 

“Edward-”

 

“What is going on?” Edward cut Roy off before he could even begin to explain himself. “Why does everyone need to pack? Why are you talking about going to Xing?” Ed’s lip pulled back in a snarl, “And why did you _try to drug me_?”

 

Roy set down the last can onto the counter, and let his arm fall to his side. “The trial isn’t looking good, Edward.” He said softly, defeated. “It’s up to the jury now, and if they decide you do not qualify for human rights anymore, then it’s all over.”

 

Edward raised one eyebrow and waited. When it became apparent that Roy had nothing more to say Edward brought up his flesh hand to rub at his eyes, being careful of the claws protruding from his fingertips. “That only answers the first question.”

 

Roy was openly confused, but he did see a bit of Ed’s ire melt away.

 

“What’s all this about Xing?” Edward repeated himself, “Why does everyone need to pack?”

 

Of course, Edward wouldn’t assume everyone would flee their home on his behalf. “If the trial goes south, you’ll be put right back into a lab. We won’t let that happen.”

 

Edward nodded once, understanding, but when he met Roy’s eyes again, he was still furious. “Last question, now. And you better have a damn good reason.”

 

“We didn’t think you’d notice. We didn’t want you to panic, so we thought-”

 

“I’m not fucking stupid, Roy!” Edward hissed. His forked tongue flicked out from between his teeth, reminding Roy just how sensitive to scents he was now. It was no wonder he was able to tell that there was a sleeping pill crushed into his dinner. “What did you think I would do if you told me? What did you think would happen tomorrow when, out of nowhere, we were suddenly making a break for the fucking desert?”

 

“I’m sorry, Edward.” Is all Roy could manage.

 

“Not sorry enough to not do it.” Edward snapped, turning on his heel and stomping up the stairs.

 

Roy, left alone in the kitchen, the only light coming from the streetlamp outside, turned back to the counter and continued to pack away supplies for the possible trek through a desert.

When he filled up the bag and set it next to the front door, there was nothing he wanted to do more than to climb the stairs, slip under his covers and pull Edward close to him, but after what happened in the kitchen, he doubted that he’d be welcome.

With a heavy heart, Roy turned for the living room instead, laying out on the couch, hoping for sleep, but knowing he’d spend the night listening to the ticking of the grandfather clock.

 

 

The court day felt as though it was going all too fast and agonizingly slow at the same time. Roy’s heart felt like it was beating all too fast, and each breath he dragged in felt more labored than the last.

Edward had not spoken to him that morning, besides a quick, “I’m fine,” after an offer of breakfast.

 

His men were not in the courtroom with him, nor were Al and Winry. They were both packed into two cars, sitting silently outside the courthouse, both packed full of supplies if they had to make a break for freedom.

 

With any luck, all the preparations would be for nothing, and they could all go home safely.

But this was it.

Judgment day.

 

One man stood from the jury at the judge’s order, and Roy got ready to run.

 

“With the evidence provided by the court, we have found Edward Elric to be non-human.”

 

Roy felt his heart break into pieces and began to enact his plan.


	23. The First Leg of the Journey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 91 days since the last update.  
> Not a good gap of time, but still better than the last one.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Fear, Edward has learned, is not limited to a single feeling. It’s a spectrum. Where you feel it changes, and how it feels is never the same. But still, once you feel it in full, once it you feel it as if is about to burst through your rib cage, it always feels familiar.   
But what Ed was feeling now was new. There was that burst of fear, but alongside it, nearly overpowering it was just a sense of disappointment.   
It would happen this way, wouldn’t it?

“Edward!” Roy shouted to him from the back of the courtroom, ready to enact their escape plan. “Now!”

Ed got up from the table where he was sitting with a jolt, fast enough to yank hand arm out of the tight hold his lawyer had on his wrist.   
The man was never really on his side. Just a state-appointed nobody to push the jury towards the decision they had just made.  
It was an easy move to hoist himself over the table, but his leg really was not ready for the kind of abuse it was about to undergo. Landing on it set off a fire of pain in the nerve connections, and Edward knew from experience that it was not going to feel better any time soon.

“Stop them!” The shout came from behind Ed, setting off the guards positioned around the room, but just a moment too late as Roy and Edward ducked through a pair of the giant wooden doors, narrowly missing the grabbing hands.

The cars that would (hopefully) get them to safety were already parked at the curb outside the side entrance, they just had to make it that far. 

The door didn’t have time to shut behind them as the soldiers by the doors caught them just before they could slam closed, hauling them back open to rush on through after them, only to stop halfway out the door.  
“Do not open fire!” The yell came from deeper within the courtroom, “We want Elric alive!”

The order gave Edward and Roy just enough time to gain ground on those chasing behind. The commotion they were making would surely be heard throughout the building, but until official word reached those who did not witness the hearing, they wouldn’t even consider stopping Mustang. 

Each step jarred the newly-installed port on Edward’s leg, but he had built up a tolerance over the years. It hurt now, but he was able to ignore most of it, but as everything was, he would pay for it later when all had calmed down.   
“They only said they want me alive,” Edward said between breaths, they were almost in the clear. “What does that mean for you?”

They reached a fire escape door in a more secluded hallway. With only a clap, Edward could have it unlocked, but Roy stopped him with a hand on his wrist, stopping him from completing the circle.   
“The light and sound will attract attention,” Roy whispered, stopping for a moment to listen for their pursuers. Stomping could be heard echoing through the halls, but none sounded close.   
With a moment more, Roy took his hand away and gave a quick nod, signaling for Ed to unlock the door anyway. 

“It either means that they don’t need to specify to keep me alive, or that you’re more valuable as a research specimen than I am as an officer.”  
They didn’t waste a second after Ed’s alchemy moved the lock. The door swung open, revealing the two cars that would make their escape. The flash from the door had grabbed the attention of those waiting in the cars, which were already revving to go. 

With the car doors closed behind them, the cars sped off, in a hurry to reach the main roads, where they’d hopefully be lost to the midday traffic. 

 

It had been nearly five hours by the time they’d exited Central City, and found themselves in Paumis, a small town halfway to the eastern quarter of Amestris.  
It was a risk, staying in an Inn rather and setting up camp outside, but December was creeping in, and it would be no safer staying out in freezing temperatures.

“It should be fine to stay in a hotel or two on our way to the desert.” Hawkeye reasoned as they all looked over a map, going over the route they would be taking the next morning. “Protocol demands that Central be searched first, and a telegram would be sent to the capitals first, then to larger towns before they would even consider searching hamlets like this.”

There was a quiet murmur of agreement that passed through the assembled deserters, Roy traced a gloved finger from Paumis to the eastern village of Wiradu. “It’s mostly a straight drive to our next major stop.” He said, “We need to stock up on gasoline and food while we’re here, though. It’s nearly a full day’s travel until then.”

“Wiradu?” Winry spoke up from where she was seated next to Edward on an old, faded couch. The bed and breakfast they’d chosen to stay in was cheap, but it was still more than they had dared hoped for. “I thought we would be heading towards Krog. Are we not going to stop in Resembool?”

“It’d be too risky,” Roy explained as he turned away from the map. He wasn’t going to drive first. He could study the map when it would be his turn. “Resembool would be checked first, after East City. They might catch up to us. Besides,” Roy continued. “Ishval is closer to Resembool than Xing is. We’d be using up more resources than necessary to cross so much more of the desert.”

“But what about Granny?” Winry asked, distraught. “She hardly knows about any of this, when she finds out we’re headed to Xing-”

“She’ll be told calmly, and she’ll be made fully aware of the situation.” Roy interrupted her before she got the chance to become too upset. “I’ve made sure that Major Armstrong is fully aware of the situation, and he will inform her as soon as he can.”

Winry said nothing further, but she was still unsettled by the idea of leaving without stopping by her grandmother and letting her know that they were all safe. 

Roy glanced over the trio seated on the couch. Edward had just yanked his automail leg from Winry’s careful inspection, his flesh hand kneading hard on the stump, less to relax muscles, and more to just distract from the pain.   
Winry, no longer having a decent distraction, had scooted closer to Alphonse. 

It wasn’t right.

They shouldn’t have to flee like this.

Everything was getting better.  
Everything should have been better.

And not just in terms of Edward’s condition, but the state of Amestris itself.  
Bradley and the other homunculi were dead and gone, and many of the scheming top brass had been detained as they showed their loyalty lay not with the people of their homeland but the inhuman monsters wishing to lay waste to it.

Speaking of Edward, he had crammed himself into the corner of the couch, his head resting in his hand as he stared at the stained wallpaper on the other side of the room.  
He had little to say on the ride here, and Roy was still apprehensive about making any move to get close.   
He should say something.   
Apologize, maybe.

“Ed-” Roy started.

Edward’s eyes flicked over to him for a second, lingering for a moment before he got up and limped his way over to one of the doors that led to one of the bedrooms they had rented out for the night. “I’m going to bed.” There was no clock in the room, but with a glance towards the single window, Roy could see that it was only starting to get dark. 

He would still be sharing the room with Edward, Alphonse, and Winry. Hopefully, the beds were bigger than a full size and he could lay down for the night without making any kind of skin contact.   
Better to not try than to try and end up with a red mark across his face from the whipping tail of a monitor lizard, right?


	24. Til Morning Comes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. 81 days is better than 91. But just a bit.
> 
> Sorry for any typos, my less than a year old dell laptop broke on me and is now being sent back to dell for repairs. This was entirely written on my phone.   
> My thumb hurts.   
> But someone left 16 comments on this fic, and with that kind of support how can I not update this ASAP?  
> Thank all of you for all your nice comments!

All in all, this was going better than Roy had expected. Sure, there was the night they all slept in their cars and heard the bear lumbering around, as they all wondered if it could smell their food supplies through the doors and windows, and Roy had begged the universe that no one had been foolish enough to leave the windows down, but aside from that, it was going well.  
Looking around at his companions, however, he wasn’t sure if they shared his sentiment.

They were spending the night at a surprisingly large inn for the small town of Fridenot. While they all should be looking forward to having real beds to sleep on, hot and fresh food in the morning, and not to mention a hot shower, they all were dreading going to bed. No matter how exhausted each one of the group felt, they knew this would be their last stop in civilization until they reached Xing.

They all sat in the foyer, the fire in the hearth growing smaller as the evening gave way to night, and counted the money they had left and took inventory of their supplies.

“We’re going to need more water.” Riza spoke up from where she was holding two canteens, a third settled next to her. “Even if we refill them now we’ll run out not far into the desert.”

”We’ll buy another canteen.” Roy answered her, closing the wallet they’d put all their spare cenz into. “We’ll still have plenty of money for food. Especially since we’ll be buying dried and preserved food.”

Hawkeye gave a small nod and set the bag down before she moved to check their food supply. They’d need to start rationing the moment they reached Amestris’ border.

”Don’t account for the water I’ll need.” Edward spoke from where he was lying in front of the fire. He’d taken off the long, hooded coat he’d been wearing to hide his appearance, and by the look of it he’d managed to smudge off nearly all the concealer and make-up Winry had put on his face. “I won’t need as much as they rest of you.”

”I won’t hear of it.” Riza shot him down immediately.

The tip of Edward’s tail twitched as he sat up a bit, resting his weight on his elbows as he looked at her. “I’m serious.” He told her, “I really don’t need much water now. I’ll stay hydrated much longer than all of you.”

”You’ll need a drink at some point.” Roy said as he thought about the offer. Was Edward right? 

“I could probably go a week without any.” Edward said as he sat up fully. He rested his head in his flesh hand. “I’d say we’d be over halfway to the Xerxes ruins by then. I’d have a drink then, and by the time we reach the ruins, we could refill our water at the fountain, and then we’d be only a few days travel from Xing’s border.”

”Youve got this quite thought out.” Havoc spoke up from where he was sitting near the window, a lit cigarette in his fingers. He was on watch, and even as he spoke and moved to take a drag, his eyes never left the ground outside. 

Ed shrugged. “Might as well take advantage of all this.” 

He didn’t need to elaborate on what ‘all this’ was referring to.

”I won’t need as much food, either. I can go more than a week without any. Most snakes can go without for months-“

”Absolutely not!” Roy cut him off at the same time as Al spoke out with “Not a chance.”

The room was quiet for a good long moment. The only sounds coming from the popping cinders in the fireplace and the lone crickets outside.

Roy sighed, and pressed a hand to his forehead. “No one is going without food, reptile or no reptile.” He put his hand down at looked over to Hawkeye, who was still going through their meager supply. “We’ll get a rationing system worked out after our trip to the market in the morning. We’re all going to be hungry no matter what, but that’s not a cause for you to starve.”

Edward held his stare for a few moments, and Roy wondered if he was going to challenge his decision. His slitted pupils gave nothing away, and when he finally broke eye contact, Roy felt chilled.

”Fine.” Ed stood up. “I’m going to bed, which room is mine?”

”207, right down the left hall.” Riza answered him. “And take a shower first. No need to make the beds dusty.” She glanced at his face, “Or to rub make-up into the pillowcases.”

Ed hummed his acknowledgement as he left the room, pulling the hood up over his face, even though he was unlikely to meet anyone on the way.

 

 

Soon the fire had burned down to nothing, leaving only the odd ember to die in the ash, and Roy, Riza, and Alphonse were the only ones left in the room. Havoc had given up his self-appointed sentry duty not much earlier. The last cricket had gone silent, and he got up from his chair, heading to his own room, grumbling about sharing a bed with another man.

Now with only the three of them left, sitting in the warm light from a single lamp, the silence felt uncomfortable rather than cozy.

Riza was the next to get up.

”I’m off to bed, myself.” She told them, gathering up her own bags. “Make sure you two go to bed soon, we’ll be up as soon as the market is open.” She gave both men a stern glare. “But first, why don’t the two of you settle whatever it is making you both act like children.” Then she was gone before either boy could even begin to act incredulous.

Where Roy sat he wasn’t directly facing Alphonse, which made it just a bit easier to hide his emotions.

He hadn’t felt comfortable in the young man’s presence for a while now. Not since they day he’d come back early only to see Roy with his older brother, sitting far to close together on the couch. Part of him felt ashamed, even though he could not pinpoint why, while the other half of him felt the need to form some kind of relationship. He before had considered the two of them to be somewhat close friends. Not the kind you’d go out drinking with, but the kind you could sit in silence with, but feel companionship with anyway. But now...

”Alphonse-“ Roy tried to begin, but something made him stop.

Alphonse got up from his seat, and moved to sit on the couch Riza was occupying not two minutes ago. He sat with his arms resting on his legs, and his face looking down at the outdated carpet. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly. 

Roy didn’t understand as he looked at Al. His posture wasn’t his normal cheerful self. Instead, he looked more like a child that had just been told off by his mother. In a way, that was similar to what just happened.

”So am I.” Roy told him. “I should’ve confronted you right away, and Edward should’ve told you right away.”

Al sat up straight. He looked at Roy’s face with tired eyes. “I acted like a brat. I should be happy Edward has someone like you. Especially now. He needs all the support he can get. Maybe you should apologize to him instead of me.”

Roy gave him a small smile. He felt like the companionship they used to have had started to rebuild itself. It would take a while, and it wouldn’t be quite the same, but that was alright, he thought. “Edwards the older brother. Shouldn’t he be telling this to your own lover?”

Al smiled back, letting out a breath that sounded just shy of a laugh. “That’s just the thing. He’d give a shovel speech nine times over for me, expect the best for me, but he’d save nothing, and expect nothing for himself. Maybe we can both change that.”

”I think we should try, at the very least.” Roy answered. “And you’re right. I should apologize to him. I think I’ll head on to my room with him. If he’s still up, I think I’ll speak to him now.”

Al stood and offered a hand. “Good luck. He’ll forgive you, even if he doesn’t act like it at first.” 

Roy closed his room door gently, surprised to see light on by the bed.

Edward appeared to be asleep, but as Roy approached the bed he stirred just a bit. “Take a shower before you lay down.” His words were jumbled by sleep. “Even left some hot water for ya.”

Roy smiled. “Thank you.” He said, about to turn to the bathroom, “And Edward?”

The lump on the bed hummed.

”I’m sorry.”

The human-lizard-blanket lump hummed again, but this time, it sounded just a bit better.


	25. Thrown into the Deep End

The market was nearly empty when Roy and the rest of his little party arrived. A cold fog had settled over the ground, but the farmers and other vendors hardly took notice as they unpacked their products and wares to be sold.

They were lucky they were escaping in the cold season. No questions asked about their raised hoods or tightly wrapped scarves.  
Roy and Riza wove carefully through the market, spending both conservatively and carelessly at the same time. The money they had left would be no use to them in the desert, and just as worthless in Xing, so they might as well spent all they have to offer on supplies for their trek.  
Riza was off on the opposite side of the many tables and stands, negotiating on the prices of dried meats and preserved fruits while Roy was sent off to look for an extra canteen, and to find a few cloaks to ward off the desert sun. Being in a town so close to the border meant that those were cheap and easy to find, and no one tended to bat an eye at the purchase of one. Who says that they were about to trek across the border and slip illegally across two borders? For all the merchants knew they just had plans for a trip up to a more popular desert-side town.  
Roy was about halfway finished gathering the overcoats when Riza made her way over to him, checked over what he had slung over his arm, and gave a slight approving nod.

“I’ve gotten more than enough jerky to keep us going for about a month. Even if it doesn’t take that long to reach Xing, it may take longer to actually gain admission to the palace.” She closed the lid on her basket and pulled the collar of her coat tighter around herself. “Are winters warmer in Xing?” She asked, but expected no answer as she continued on. “I’ll drop these supplies off at our inn, and by the time you’re back Havoc should be back with a few horses at the least. We can take turns riding them if we have to, but there’s no way we can make good time on foot alone.” She turned to the rack that Roy had been shifting through, and pulled off one of the smaller sizes. “Especially with Edward in the condition he is in.”

“We’ll make it across.” Roy told her gently, taking the coat away and heading to the man running the stall. He hoped that he sounded more convincing than he felt. “We have no other choice.”  
Riza gave him one last long look before she took her leave.  
Roy watched her go for only a moment, before he set his purchases down on the table for the merchant man to total up.  
As Roy handed over the Cenz notes, the portly man gave him a smile. “It ain’t a good place to spend the winter months down here, is it?”  
Roy forced a smile back as he tried to answer cheerily. “I wouldn’t imagine so.”  
But right before Roy took his change back from the man, a small leather-bound book caught his eye from where it sat simply on the table. Roy picked it up gently, and took his time admiring the leatherwork and quality parchment inside. The pages were completely blank. No scribbles, no rule. It was a notebook for an alchemist or an artist.  
“How much?” Roy asked.

 

Edward was sitting in his room, looking out the window. The terrain outside was sandy, but a clear path still marked the way out of town. They were still in Amestris, and they were still in danger.

Ed moves himself away from the window and let himself fall back onto the bed, wincing when he felt his tail under his back. Ed sighed and moved over to his side, and stared at the packs leaning against the wall. He’d never really owned much in the world, and still all he owned fit into a single case. 

But that wasn’t the situation for everyone here. Edward has continuously expected for them to turn back. For everyone to come up with a plan to keep themselves innocent of the situation and have Edward turned back in. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust them, it was just that it was the smart thing to do. He wouldn’t put up a fight, and their lives could go back to normal. 

Why should Roy or Riza be fleeing their home? They were supposed to be changing Amestris from the inside. Making Roy Fuhrer and the people’s lives better. There was no question as to why Al was here, but he shouldn’t be. He should be back in Resembool or Rush Valley with Winry at his side, and he couldn’t even begin to explain everyone else’s motivations to be here.

 The clacking of horses hooves drew Edward from his thoughts, and he once more made his way over to the window. Down where the cars were parked, Edward could see Breda talking seriously with Havoc, the latter holding the reigns to three horses.

Two of them were quarter-horses, one a sorrel color and the other a buckskin, while the final one was a white and gray speckled Appaloosa.

The cats that had gotten them all this far wouldn’t be able to carry them across the sand dunes of the desert, and even if the tires and build of the automobiles were up to the task, they would still run out of gasoline early into the trek. 

Horses were their best option. Sure, camels would be better on the terrain, and they’d have to give less of their already limited water supply to the animals, but buying camels would not only be difficult in finding someone to sell them some camels, but it would also all but announce that they were planning a trek across the no-mans land between Amestris and Xing.

Seeing as though there was no one else around the inn, most everyone in town setting up their market stalls or still cozy in bed, Edward unlatched the window to his room and let it open.

”What’s the plan?” Edward called down, still careful about keeping his hood pulled up and his voice down.

Havoc gave him a quick smile before he began to explain the days course of action. 

“Soon as the Chief and the lieutenant-“ Havoc stopped to correct himself, not one of them was still a military officer. “Soon as Roy and Riza get back, all but three of us will load back into our cars, and we’ll make the border before nightfall.”

”it’ll be slow going after that,” Breda pitched in, “we’ll be on foot-speed after that. We’ll set up camp at sunrise, and map out our course after that. Our most important goal today is to get out of the country. Everything else comes afterwards.”

One of their cars sputters back into the parking lot, already low on gas and unlikely to be filled back up. Riza steps carefully out of the car, and looks up to where Edward has himself half-leaning outside the window. “Get everyone up and get everything together.” She ordered. No longer military but still just as strict. “We’re leaving immediately.”

 

The air in the car was solemn as they all drove out past their last chance to turn back. The paved road slowly turned from being carefully maintained and smooth, to cracked and faded, to gravel, and finally to sand.

Not much was said as they all exited their cars and began to pack their things into saddlebags and backpacks, but just for a moment, Edward felt a hand on his sleeve. The sky was growing dark but Edward could still tell that it was Roy who was trying to get his attention. Edward straightened up, and tried to meet his eyes in the growing night. 

“Here.” Roy said, holding something out to him with both hands. “I know you lost your old journals back in Amestris, and this won’t bring back all your old research, but...” 

Edward took the book gently, careful of the claws on his left hand and he felt the smooth leather cover. It was brand new. The pages inside were all blank, and original, too. Not once replaced. There wouldn’t be much to study on their way across the desert, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t put it to use. 

“Thank you.” Edward said softly after flicking through the pages one last time. He wasn’t sure if there was anything else to say as he slid the book into his own bag. 

Roy just smiled at him. “I think we all need a little something while we’re out here. I just wanted to give you a little happiness.”

and really, what more could Edward do but thank him, as they turned and took their first steps into the growing cold of the desert night.


	26. The Stars in the Sky

The night slowly gave way to dawn, and the last few stars faded away into the clear blue. But as the sun rose in the sky, the temperatures rose alongside it. Winter or not, the deeper they trekked into the desert the hotter the days would get. So, they began to set up camp for the day, so they could rest and sleep now and continue walking once the sun sets back down over the horizon.

They had found a rocky outcrop at the bottom of a large sand dune, and set up for the day. Edward and Alphonse clapped and brought two large slabs of stone from the ground, and let them connect over top, leaving them all in a shelter that would keep them in the shade for the entire day. 

But as Edward sat down, he had to fight to keep his exhaustion from his face. Although he hadn’t lost any of his talent or knowledge of alchemy, he was still way out of practice. Even the simple transmutation from sand to stone had winded him. He wouldn’t be much use if this continued on.

 Some of them got some sleep over the next few hours, but Ed only slept for a bit. He hadn’t been able to sleep peacefully since they had to flee, but that wasn’t much of a mystery why. So he spent his time staring off into the desert behind them, unable to see the town they left with only empty sand and bright blue sky stretching before him. But there was just a bit of movement, not too far away. It was too small to be human, so it couldn’t be anyone following them.

It had to be some kind of creature that lived out here in the sand and the stone, probably some kind of reptile. There wasn’t any real reason to go after it, but curiosity was the best answer, or excuse, Edward could muster as he stood up and ducked out of their shelter. 

Riza was currently standing guard, sitting in the shade to the side of their camp, but if she was confused as to why he was wandering off, she didn’t comment. 

“Don’t go too far.” She warned him, only sparing him a glance before her eyes returned to the sands around them.

The creature was only about fifteen meters out, but as Ed got closer, he was surprised that the lizard did not flee. The creature was small, about a foot and a half in length. It was colored in orange and black bands across its body, each scale a small bump on its skin, and its small black eyes only just distinguishable from its skin. The lizard was looking up at him, and it flicked out it’s dark and forked tongue once as Edward knelt down next to it.

Was this one of the species of lizards he now shared genetics with? The list was long, and he couldn’t always recall it, and to be honest, he barely knew any of the animals on it. Amestris is a cold country, and the only reptiles that were common were small little green lizards that turned brown in the cold, and little striped ribbon or garter snakes. He’d never seen this one before.

Slowly, Edward stretched out a hand to the creature, and looked at the difference in their skin. Edward had none of the bumps, but the orange flecks of his own scales was similar to this lizards.

The lizard in question flicked its tongue out again, and tilted its head to the side. 

It should be afraid of him, but it didn’t seem to be. It’s back legs were stretched out and limp behind him, and it had taken do defensive posture. 

Slowly, still wary of startling the creature and it turning out venomous, Edward gently laid his flesh fingers on its mid-back. The lizard hardly reached, and nearly absent-mindedly, he started scratching lightly, as if it was nothing more than a small dog. 

It occured to him that the animal might not fear him, becuase it just didn’t know to. Not many people crossed this desert, so what were the chances that this animal had ever even seen one before? It wouldn’t fear him until it was taught to.

He didn’t know how many minutes he spent like that, lost in thought and with one hand petting the lizard, but the sound of footsteps in the sand let him know that someone was approaching. Glancing over his shoulder he saw Riza heading towards him. 

“You may want to come back.” She said, not making a comment one way or another. 

“Is it my turn to watch?” He asked her quietly, drawing his hand back from the lizard as it scuttled off through the sand, disappearing between two rocks a little further off. Had it made a home there? Did this animal spend its whole life in one burrow, or did it move across this terrain, making home after home until it died?

”No,” Hawkeye answered him, “but eveyone will be waking up soon, and you’ll be missed.”

Edward could feel the hot sunlight on his back, sinking down through his skin and banishing the deep cold that had made home in his bones. It felt right out here in the sun. He didn’t want to go back just yet. “I’ll be back soon.” He said, “I just want to sit out here a while longer.”

He could feel Hawkeye’s reluctance to leave. It made her unsteady on her feet as part of her wanted to turn back to their camp and the other itched to stay here and speak her mind. But in the end she stayed. She was no longer held back by respect for superior officers, whether Edward had ever felt like one or not. 

“I hope you’re not planning on running off.” She said at last. “You may think that we’re wasting our time, or throwing away our futures by following you out here, but that is not true, no matter how you feel about it.”

Edward clenched his teeth. Of course he thought that. How could he not? But he wasn’t about to run off and abandon them in the desert. They wouldn’t give up and go home, anyway. They’d all die in the heat trying to find him.

”Your brother and Winry would do anything for you. Just as you would for them.” She was still standing at his back, casting a shadow over him and blocking out the sun. “Roy would, too.”

”I wasn’t going to leave.” Edward told her. He drew his tail in closer to his core, and hunched over the ground, studying the grains of sand, knowing he was only responding to part of what she was saying.

”And the rest of us would never let you do this on your own.” The tone she was taking took a turn for scolding, but after a pause it sounded softer. “You have to have some faith in us, Edward. We did it choose to follow you out here and into Xing on an impulse. We aren’t going to regret helping you.”

Edward stopped for a moment. He knew all this. He really did, but his mind just didn’t work like that. He didn’t deserve all this. He knew he was being unreasonable, but that didn’t make all this darkness and rot disappear. 

“I know.” He said at last, and it wasn’t really a lie. 

“Come back in a few minutes, Edward.” Hawkeye said as she turned to leave, letting the sunlight fall onto Edwards back again. “You’ll need to eat and get some more rest before we set back out tonight.”

Edward nodded, not even knowing if she had seen. He just needed a few more moments in the warmth before he headed back. 

Just a few more moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lizard was meant to be a Gila monster, if that wasn’t clear/you have better things to do than memorize 80 different species of lizards!  
> They’re a pretty neat desert species, but they do have a nasty bite and some even nastier venom, so Ed’s pretty lucky this particular one wasn’t aggressive.  
> Don’t go petting wild lizards unless you know they’re safe.
> 
> Also now I’d really like to draw Ed sitting with his new lizard buddy.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU I've been slowly building in my head for months now.  
> It's mostly inspired by the fact that I'm absolutely obsessed with reptiles, and if there's something I can mix reptiles into, I'm going to.  
> Most of Ed's lizard behavior is inspired by the Blue Tongue Skink I currently own, and the Frilled Lizard that I used to own.


End file.
